


Praire Fire

by Ianacosta



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, F/F, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-20 17:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12438465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ianacosta/pseuds/Ianacosta
Summary: Piper is a bartender with a bumpy past, emancipated at 15. Alex is a wealthy businesswoman whose life isn't exactly the way she wants it to be. What happens when these two cross paths?





	1. Prairie Fire

Prairie Fire

Type

Cocktail

Primary alcohol by volume

Tequila

Served

Straight up; without ice

Commonly used ingredients

1 oz tequila

1 dash Tabasco Sauce

Preparation

Fill a shot glass with tequila and drop a dash of tabasco sauce in and around the edge.

The club was packed to it's fullest and you knew that by the time your shift was over, you wouldn't be able to feel your feet. But you couldn't deny that you loved the rush.

You are fast, your memory is incredible, and that's why you got the job in the first place. Red was none too happy to discover you were literally a day over 16 but she also couldn't overlook the fact that you could mix a drink in under 2 minutes and that when the club was packed, you pulled your weight and kept customers happy.

So, you gave her your papers, explained you were emancipated at 15 and made an arrangement about your hours in conjunction with being promptly prohibited from drinking. That has been your life for a year now.

Sometimes, it's difficult and you feel lonely, but this life is better than the one you had before. So, when you go to work that day, you're grateful. Nicky and Poussey are sharing the bar with you and you share quick words with them or help with a drink.

With your make-up on and dressed like you are, nobody pegs you for a 17 year-old girl. Your eyes are smudged and sexy; your normally blonde hair was pink-highlighted yesterday and pulled back into a high ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way. Everything about you spoke of years beyond your own; of difficulties and hurt, most adults had never experienced. So yeah, you definitely looked older than 17.

Maroon 5's "Animals" starts playing and you smile, mouthing the words. It's one of your favorites. You turn to the left corner of the bar, towards the first hand you see, waving in front of your face.

"Hey, what's your poison?"

The owner of the hand is beautiful. Greenest eyes you've ever seen, framed by a pair of secretary glasses. Her hair is jet black with blue tips, slightly curled at the tips and her lips are tinted a beautiful shade of red. She has two other women with her, sited on the corner of the bar, which meant she was friends with either Red or Nicky or Poussey.

"Baby, I'm preying on you tonight

Hunt you down, eat you alive

Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals…"

"Tequila. 6 shots."

"What's your number?" You ask, lining up the glasses in front of her. Two months after you started working for Red, she had installed a new paying system that had made everyone weep with relief. Instead of serving drinks and having to collect the money, give change and get tips, now every customer had a number "tattooed" on their forearm before they got into the club and just had to give that to the bartender when ordering drinks. You matched the number with the picture on the computer and voilà. Easy-peasy.

"39201." You punch the number and her picture and name appear on the computer screen underneath the glass on the counter. Alex Vause. Even her name is sexy…

"Gold or Silver?"

"Gold." She checks the monitor as you punch the order with one hand and grab the bottle with the other, dribbling the gold liquid in the aligned glasses on a steady stream.

"Anything else?"

She reaches for your hand and you jolt. You hate being touched but somehow it seems different, because her fingers are electrified on your skin, bringing forth feelings you thought were long gone.

"Your phone number."

Her green eyes are challenging, one perfect eyebrow going up. You surprise yourself by reaching in your back pocket with your free hand and grabbing your sharpie. She hands you a napkin but you clasp the hand that's still around your arm, turn it over and write down your number on her wrist. Boldly, you rub your thumb over her forearm, where bluish veins run under her porcelain white skin, enjoying the way your body thrums like the strings of a well-tuned guitar and how her eyes darken and she looks at you as if she wants to eat you alive.

It's been awhile since you felt so naturally attracted to someone. You smile at her then turn towards the next customer. Night is busy and you start mixing drinks by the double, grabbing two orders at a time so you can compensate.

You see Alex's hand raise again and after handing the guy in front of you a tall glass of Smith Wesson and an Americano on a shorter one, you punch the order, wait for the nod of confirmation and turn towards the corner again.

"Hey! Tequila refill?"

Alex licks her lips – the red was now fading, probably because of the shots but her lips still look incredibly soft and kissable. The music is very loud so she bends over the counter for you to understand, flattening her breasts against the surface. It's your turn to lick your lips and when you look up again, she is smirking at you, eyes blazing.

She crooks a finger in the universal "come here" sign and you let your head fall close to hers. Her lips brush you earlobe, slightly, her breath playing with the fine hairs on your temple as she almost moans in your ear.

"Surprise me…"

Your knees actually wobble but you lock them in place, refusing to give this woman the satisfaction of knowing how much she is affecting you. You raise a hand instead; cup the back of her head to keep her in place, moving your mouth towards her ear. Smiling, you let the rush of air out of your lips sound throaty and breathless, as you form the words.

"Can I make it hot for you?"

She turns her face in your neck and you smile wildly, pulling away before she can lock arms around you. Her eyes are dilated and aroused and in turn it arouses you. You lick your lips again, tasting her so badly you actually want to throw yourself across the counter and kiss her until you can't stand it anymore.

You feel her eyes on you as you pour the Gold tequila on a shot glass and half a teaspoon of Tabasco Sauce. The red liquid dribbles down, swirling on the Gold. It looks beautiful. You get a wedge of lime and place it next to the shot glass in front of her.

Alex grabs the shiny glass, tiles it back and slams it again on the counter. Breath explodes out of her with a curse – MOTHERFUCKER – and even though you can't hear because of the music, you smile and wink at her, mouthing "Surprise".


	2. Little Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: WARNING! SEX SCENES. WARNING>>>>VERY DETAILED SEX SCENE

Little Dragon

Type

Cocktail

Primary alcohol by volume

Tequila

Beer

Served

Straight up; without ice

Commonly used ingredients

1 oz tequila

6oz of your favorite lager

1/4oz Jalapeno hot sauce – Trader Joe's actually has a 'Green Dragon' hot sauce!

3/4oz lime juice

1/4 agave nectar

Small amount of celery salt

Ice cubes

Preparation

Pour all of it minus the lager into a cocktail shaker and mix together. Strain the result into the lager (sans ice cubes) and you are good to go!

Chapter 2

Your break is shortly after this, so you let Nicky and Poussey know and slip quietly to go to the bathroom and grab a snack in the break room on the second floor. You almost weep with relief when you're able to relieve your bladder and after that, while you eat your chicken sandwich, you check your phone.

There's a message from Polly, inviting you over to her house to do the English assignment that's due next week. You finish the sandwich and are sipping absent-mindedly on your coke when the door to the break room opens and you raise your eyes to stare into Alex's blazing ones.

You only have time to put your coke can on the table and get up before she's on you like a pouncing, hungry tiger. Her hand tangles on your ponytail to pull your head back, the other going to the small of your back. You, in turn, place both hands on her biceps and look up, waiting, in sweet expectation for the moment her lips will touch yours. Instead, she studies you from behind her black, secretary glasses, thumb brushing the skin between your top and jeans, softly.

"I'm going to kiss you. Probably do a little bit more. If you have anything against it, or if I've somehow completely misread your signals, say something. Now."

Her voice is husky and sexy and it makes you instantly wet. You raise yourself into your tiptoes, using her arms as leverage to get your lips close to her left ear – a position very similar to the one you assumed at the bar, moments ago.

"I want to taste what you taste like."

Alex's hands tighten on your body and she actually lets out a loud moan that makes your eyes close and roll into the back of your head. She pulls your ponytail harder then cover your mouth with hers. You've been kissed many times. You've been kissed by boys and by girls, younger and older than you. But you've never been kissed with such want or abandon before, like the world revolves around your lips, your body. You've never felt this painfully sweet shiver that runs down your lower back and curl your toes.

You raise your arms, clasp them around her neck and sink yourself into that wonderful, wet kiss with a swipe of your tongue against hers. She tastes like tequila and Tabasco sauce, burning on your tongue, on your soul. You hum and press your body impossibly closer, licking the roof of her mouth and the soft place beneath her tongue. The hand that's on your back circles to the side of your body, around your hips, over the dip of your waist, up your ribcage. It stops next to your breast, her thumb moving back and forth, close to your nipple but not quite there.

You want to climb her tall body and just devour her. She unlocks your lips and raises her half-opened eyes to stare at your face.

"Hmm… I didn't catch your name…"

You laugh and kiss her again.

"Piper… Chapman. I'm Piper Chapman."

She smiles and your world explodes with color.

"Hi. I'm Alex… Vause."

"Nice to meet you, Alex."

You say while taking the glasses off her face and promptly kissing her again.

It's awhile before you come up for air and when you do, it's time for you to go back to work. It wasn't nearly enough. Your skin is singing, you feel like you've ran a marathon and you are horny as hell. And Alex doesn't look much better. But you untangle yourself from her, muttering between kisses that you have to work.

She presses her forehead against yours, still pecking your lips from time to time, both hands on your ass.

"Come with me."

You look up at her beneath hooded eyes.

"What?" Is that your voice? God!

"When your shift is done, come home with me."

Your lower belly clenches and you feel more moisture pooling between your legs. Alex's eyes are suddenly very serious. You blink. She raises a hand to your breast, lips scorching your throat, your ear.

"Are you serious?"

She kisses the skin above your top, on the middle of your chest. "Yes. Come with me."

"Will I get in trouble?" You ask, a smirk on your face. Her mouth tilts on a sexy smile and she pecks you on the lips again, talking against your mouth.

"God, I hope so. I want you to come, babe…" Her hand trails down, down, down, past the hem of your tight skirt then up again, against your soaping center. You gasp, breath living your lungs in a rush and the pair of organs locking in such a way you couldn't draw another breath.

"And I want you to cum." When she whispers this against your mouth, your body responds like she's it's puppy master, coming apart on her hands.

"Fuuuck." She moans against your throat and it seems impossible but you think she just came as well. You both pant and when she takes her fingers out of you they are dripping all the way to her wrist. She puts them in her mouth, closes her eyes and hums and damn, you almost come again.

"Yes."

She stays on her corner, talking to the two women, laughing and drinking and boy she can drink. After the initial shock of the Prairie Fire you served her, she orders them again and again. Her friends switched to Beer a long time ago but she keeps doing shots alone now, spacing them with Heinekens.

When she orders her drinks, her hands are always on you: wrist, forearm, brushing your fingers. You like it and you don't want to start analyzing how comfortable you are with someone you've just met.

The club starts to slowly empty as the end of your shift approaches and the movement on the bar gets slower. When that happens, you see Nicky come towards your corner of the bar, a beer and a bottle of water on her hands. It's a thing between the two of you and it's very nice to have someone who has your back.

You clean your section of the counter, washing the glasses and stocking them. You like to keep your area organized. Red has told you to keep a secret about your age until you've reached 18 and not even her children are aware you are an emancipated 17. You regret not being able to share this part of your life with at least Nicky but you cannot go over Red on this since she was the first person to really give you an opportunity.

She thought it was best to avoid a lot of people knowing and consequently thinking she was employing a minor illegally, causing the police to harass the place. You are more than happy to keep your mouth shut; it isn't something that you like to share with other people because it raises a thousand questions that you don't really want to answer. Since you've always kept your relationships short and superficial, the question almost never arouse.

People seem to assume you were on your twenties and you never corrected them. And if asked, you gave the standard "22". The only relationship you had in which the person knew your real age was Stella and hadn't that turned out just peachy?

Nicky hands you the bottle of water – she knows exactly what you like after a long shift - signaling it is almost over. The lights are turned on, music lowered and you notice Dimitri and Vasily ushering those who were still on the dance floor or talking to friends or maybe a little tipsier than normal, towards the paying booth and out the club. It's almost 3, you are exhausted and thanking the universe because you have no school tomorrow. You're counting the days until those last 8 months.

While you drink and think, Nicky walks towards Alex with two Stellas and hands a bottle to the brunette. You realize that they are indeed friends, as you'd previously thought. Interesting.

The bottle on your hands is deliciously cold and as you sip the water and finishes cleaning, Poussey comes to you with her own beverage (a snapping cold, strawberry Caipisake) and starts talking about her girlfriend, Taystee and something about Harry Potter.

You are laughing of a picture of Tasha with a pointed hat – like the sorting hat in Hogwarts - and a wooden stick on her hand that Poussey is showing you when someone closes a hand over your hip and lips cover your shoulder. The shiver is very perceptible and you blush when Poussey smirks knowingly and looks over your shoulder.

"Well, well, well. Look at you, lesbians." Nicky rasps on that patented voice of hers while sipping on her beer. She sends you a wink, cocking her hip against the counter.

The old you would've blushed and stammered. Instead, you just open a naughty grin, finish your water and wink back at her.

You are surprised when Alex blushes like a schoolgirl. though. You can't wait to get your hands on her in a proper way. To get her out of her clothes, to kiss her mouth, her belly and the sweet space between her creamy thighs.

You grab your bag and coat from under the counter and leave the club, sending Red's boys a hasty goodbye, Alex behind you.

"Still want me to come?" You want to make sure she knows she can back out and it wouldn't be a problem. She pulls you closer, though, lips touching the skin behind your ear.

"Yes. I want you to cum. And I have this feeling you'll be doing this a lot with me."

That said, she hails the first cab she sees and mutters an address on Upper East Side. Well, isn't that fancy, Mrs. Vause? You really hope Alex wasn't one of these posh, nose-in-the-air people who thinks she will impress you with a huge, obnoxious apartment and expensive lifestyle. Because honestly: been there, done that.

Both of you are quiet, the only movement in the cab being the ones the driver was making and Alex's thumb brushing the back of your hand softly. She hands him a couple of bills when he stops in front of an elegant, old-looking building and then gets out, turning to offer you a helping hand. The doorman has a glass door opened for you and you slip inside a fancy lobby. Alex briefly exchanges amenities with the middle-aged, nice looking fella and pulls you in a hurry, towards the elevators.

Once inside she presses a button for the highest floor.

Well, Upper East Side AND a penthouse…

The minute the doors close, Alex turns to you with a hungry expression, her green eyes huge and aroused. You can see she's trying very hard to keep from touching you because of the cameras.

You also know that once you come together, there will be no pulling your apart for a long while. At least you hope so. In your mind, you're already picturing a thousand different things to do with her nimble body.

It feels like you've been stuck in the cramped space of the elevator - energy pulsing out of you in waves - for two lifetimes, maybe three, even. Alex's body is as tight as a wire and she is not looking at you anymore, her teeth nibbling softly on her plush, juicy lower lip.

Fuck, you want those teeth on your skin.

You want your teeth on her skin too.

When the damn elevator dings and comes to a smooth stop on Alex's floor, you are both propelled out by sheer hormones. You barely notice the hall area before you are pulled inside her apartment then pushed back towards the now closed door.

You feel the wood on your back and your head slams against the hard surface but you don't care, because her lips are on yours, your tongue is in her mouth and she's already shedding your skirt and panties. Your bag is now somewhere on the floor.

She falls to her knees in front of you. Her hand trails a path along your calf, cupping the back of your knee then raising it to curl your leg over her shoulder. Her hair tickles the skin on the inside of your thigh as you listen to her take a deep breath. A muttered "delicious" hangs in the air before she literally attacks you. With gusto.

You have a tongue on your clit and fingers inside you so fast it's difficult to process. The attack to your senses is mind-blowing. A rush of liquid arousal covers her fingers as your lower belly clenches and you pant like you're on a triathlon.

An orgasm is coming and it's going to hit you so hard because, fuuuuuck, she's humming against your pussy – like she's eating a damn ice cream cone on a hot day – and someone shouts a loud, stretched moan. Oh, it's you. You buck against her face, a hand tangling in her dark hair, knocking the glasses that she'd pushed up from her face to the floor in the process.

When she stands up, she carries you with her, maneuvering you away from the door and towards what you think is a bedroom. Her mouth is glistening when she lays you down on her bed and kisses your open lips, tongue spearing inside your mouth. Ok, time to start participating for real here, otherwise you have a feeling Alex is going to take over the whole experience.

You flatten your palms against her sides, run them down towards the hem of her shirt and pull it up and over her head. It lands somewhere on the I-don't-really-care zone. Her skin is pale like a bowl of cream and your mouth actually waters. Her eyes are hooded, mouth opened and tongue swiping over her swollen - still glistening with your juices - lips.

"I want to fuck you. Real slowly."

Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she bucks against you, rubbing her center against your thigh.

"Get up, I need you naked."

She does as you tell her and you're proud to see her legs are wobbling. You sit on the edge of the bed, your soaping center making a trail on her bed sheets – not that you think she'll care – to rid her of pants and panties, while she makes quick work on her bra.

When she's done and stands gloriously naked for your hungry appreciation, it's your turn to rid yourself of your top. You have no bra on today so your perky tits just bounce away, nipples tightening with the sudden blast of air. Alex curses and lowers her head to get a rosy tip in her mouth but you grab her hair and pull her head back, the other hand going straight for her dripping, burning, tight pussy.

"My turn."

You lower yourself onto her bed, pulling her on top of you. Your bodies fit like two halves of a whole, her thigh going immediately to the spot between your own while her lips cover yours. Her mouth is getting slack from the pleasure building up and if the moisture dripping down the sides of your thigh is any indication she's going to come soon. Well, you can't have that, since you want her to come with your tongue deep inside her.

You maneuver her until she has one knee on each side of your hips. Then, on a quick movement you grab the back of her thighs and slide down until your face is leveled with her sex. She smells amazing and – God! – is soo wet. You lick her from stem to stern and your taste buds explode. Immediately, you feel a rush of moisture run into your mouth, down your chin, to the hollow space in your throat. Gracious Lord, the woman was like a hot waterfall.

"Piper, fuuuuuuuuck!"

You grab her ass – perfect, round, firm – and squeeze, moving her against your mouth. Alex makes a kneeing sound in her throat, slaps her palms on the headboard in front of her. She rubs herself against your frantic tongue, her juices going down your chin, your eyes fixed on her face, twisted in pleasure. You watch her as she comes, head thrown back, mouth opened on a soundless scream, breasts bouncing, nipples hard and pink and you can't help but come again.


	3. Red Headed Slut

Chapter 3: Red Headed Slut

Truth is that for the next 3 weeks you fuck like lesbian rabbits.

She has you in the shower, on her bed (several times) and in the kitchen – you just wanted a glass of water! You have her in the bathroom, sitting on the sink and in the living room, one of her legs over the back of the couch, the other trailing the floor. When the toys appeared things started to get really serious. Even if all of them were used on you. You feel like you're playing Clue – who fucked whom with what where? – but even between your fuckfests, you somehow end up knowing a lot about each other.

Better, you discover a lot about Alex and try to keep the spotlight away from you as frequently as possible. She doesn't ask how old you are and you are glad because you don't want to lie to her. You think Nicki has probably debriefed her with the basics. Now, you know she's 26 (soon to be 27) and she has her own, very successful import/export company, started and managed with her mother (Diane Vause) that keeps Alex travelling around the Globe.

It didn't make her rich, but close. She has major contracts with major companies in the country and you wonder if she works with your father's. It's not a pool you want to deep in, so you chase those thoughts away.

Now you're in her shower, trying to wash chocolate syrup that seem to be in every crook and cranny of your body. Trying to eat ice cream with Alex Vause is something tricky. Hands touch your shoulder blades while you have your arms up, washing your hair. She runs a path down your upper arms, then forearms as you stare up to a smiling Alex Vause seconds before she kisses you, hands going down your back slowly. God, those kisses…

This feel so intimate to you. Her kiss is incredible as usual but at the same time the tune has changed. It's not hungry and sexy, but comfortable and sweet, like you've been kissing each other for years and not only days. Your heart does a lazy, sweet-painful roll and you curse mentally. Fuck! Yet, you are powerless to the feeling growing in your gut.

"Hey… Where did you go just now?"

Alex's voice is something you could record and play it over and over again. Yesterday, sometime after orgasm number 6 you had asked her, as you'd laid down facing each other - her hand touching the tips of your hair and tickling your nipple with it – if she smoked. She had laughed, husky and deep in her throat, like rain on a window on a cold day, and told you that no, she had always sounded like this. She'd also shared she was made fun a lot in school because of it – kids thought she sounded like a boy.

"I'm thinking that it's nice to shower with you. It's been awhile since I've shared a shower."

"Oh, yeah? Do I want to know who the last person to have that pleasure was?"

You take a step forward to avoid the stream of water from falling into your eyes and smile softly at her, cocking your head to the side to study her expression. Raised eyebrows, twinkling eyes…

"I don't know. Do you?"

Alex's fingers play against your ribs and you shriek. "Yes, Mrs. Smartypants. I want to know."

You giggle once again, nervous about her roaming fingers now that she's found out that you're ticklish.

"Ex. It was the day we broke up, actually. We ended things and I went to take a shower, crying my kidneys out. Got in with me, tried to fuck, got promptly shot down and left with a bruised ass and pride."

"Ouch." Alex offers you a sympathizing wince. You just smile. It took you a while to recover but that's water under the bridge.

"Yep."

"And would I, by any chance, know this incredibly tactful young woman. Or man?"

What a funny place to have a conversation about exes, you think.

"Is that a way for you to check if you've nailed my ex, Ms. Vause? Or better yet, is that a way for you to ask, without really asking, if my ex has a penis?"

Alex laughs again and you bit your lip, trying to keep your mock-serious face on.

"You've got me. Can't fool you Ms. Chapman."

"Now I don't know if I want to answer your question."

You turned the shower off and grab a towel, pretending to be offended. Alex's hands go straight for your ribs once more, fingers drumming and you buck, giggling like the schoolgirl you actually are.

Through the tears in your eyes you see her amused expression and a smile that covers her entire face. Crap, she's so beautiful like this it makes you want to make her laugh over and over again. Crap two times. Get a grip on yourself, Piper. You've known her for a month.

Why did it feel like you've met her lifetimes ago then?

She gathers you close as your legs fail you, careful not to let you fall and gets both of you out of the shower. You're still giggling even though she's just drying you now, the amused expression still on her face. After you're both dry, she pulls your giggling (damn it!) body towards the bedroom and offers you one of her t-shirts.

It's white and has the picture of a tattooed Ariel with piercings and a black Jack Daniels shirt, raising part of her red hair up with one hand and smiling. It hits your thighs and smells like Downy and Alex. Makes you want to keep it. You go "pantieless".

You're both sitting on the bed cross-legged, facing each other with your knees touching softly and drinking tea when you decide to answer her previous question. She's blowing in her mug, lips touching the rim, eyes on the waving liquid and it makes you comfortable enough to start talking.

"It's a she."

Her eyes snap to yours and she raises an eyebrow in your direction, her face like a question mark.

"What?

"My ex. It's a she. Stella."

Alex hums and nods, signaling you to keep going.

"We met at a friend's party. I've always felt attracted to both girls and boys but had only dated boys. Needless to say my parents went berserk when I introduced her as my girlfriend. Our relationship, which was already poor, ended up becoming even more difficult, to the point where going home felt like a penitence. Eventually, I made a deal with my father - which was pretty much the same as making a deal with the devil – left home and we never spoke to each other again. Stella and I were together for a little over a year before things went seriously downhill and she left. And that's it."

Alex hand holds you now, a sympathetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry about your parents, Pipes. It must have been very difficult…"

You smile at her, sincerely and openly. That was another wound that had closed a while back. You quickly learned, being on your own so young, that some things were the way they were and there was no changing them.

So when you finally realized your parents would never accept you and you'd never get along, the letting go part was easy. You fail to mention to Alex, though, that when you left home, you were 15 and emancipated. You also don't mention why your father agreed to emancipate you.

Memories bring a chill down your spine and you frown. You really don't want to remember this shit but somehow, you don't know why it seems vital for you to make Alex understand your origins.

You feel like you're in a dark room; you have no sense of direction and no way to know what's going to happen and it's been a long while since you took a leap of faith. Maybe it was time you did and just waited to see what would come out of it.

"It's ok. I got over it pretty fast once I figured that some things you can't change. After I made that deal with my father, he gave me my share of my inheritance and I never looked back. Six months after I was living alone, my grandma died and to my surprise and my father's actually, she left everything she had for me. It wasn't much – an apartment here in NY, in Soho, where I live now and some money."

You take a sip of your tea to soothe your throat. Alex is a good listener – attentive and doesn't interrupt – makes you comfortable enough to keep going.

"I invested the money so I can live comfortably until I decide what to do with it. Stella and I lived together for a while but we argued a lot. She was very jealous and possessive, she even installed a tracking device on my phone once. I was already working at the club the day we split; she saw me talking to Nicky; dancing actually. We were goofing around to a Beyonce song and Stella got completely crazy. Dmitri had to get her out and I almost lost my job. Red was so mad she started speaking in Russian."

You smile when Alex barks out a dry laugh.

"I got home after my shift and Stella was waiting for me, stinking drunk. She accused me of fucking Nicky, started breaking a bunch of our things and when I tried to grab her to make her stop she kind of punched me."

Alex's intake of breath makes you raise your eyes from your mug. You're surprised to see she's almost vibrating, her mug halfway to her mouth. You cock your head at her in confusion, uncomfortable with her piercing gaze.

"What's wrong?"

"She hit you?"

Oh…

"Hmm… yeah. Sorta of. I grabbed her arm to stop her from throwing my brand new laptop on the floor and when she pulled it back, I let it go and it hit me right in the face. My nose started bleeding and I guess that was when I realized it was actually over. We had reached a point that the relationship was toxic for both of us. So, I told her to go, went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash off the blood and after the shower situation I told you about she left and that's it. I picked up the pieces of my pride and moved on and that's actually more than I intended to share. Sorry…"

You stare at her sheepishly, feeling like you've been talking for hours. Alex's expression is dark and dangerous and you feel nervous. Did you say something that upset her? She seems to notice you're weird-out about her reaction because she grabs one of your hands after placing both of your mugs on the bedside table.

"Pipes, you have to do me a favor."

You nod, swallowing.

"If this thing between us goes where I think it'll go, do not show me who this Stella person is. Ever. Because if I ever meet her or bump into her in the fucking street, I'll do more than blacken one of her eyes."

Holy fucking baby Jesus. How did a one night stand with a beautiful stranger turned into a night of heartfelt conversation, amazing sex and a feeling of belonging you've never had in your life? You move around Alex's apartment like you've been here thousands of times. You feel so comfortable in your skin, with your position as one half of this orange that it's like you've known each other for lifetimes before. You two move together, touch each other with a familiarity you shouldn't have.

And apparently, Alex has noticed it too.

"Pipes, I don't want to scare you, ok? But, you'll notice two very important things about me: I don't lie and I'm always honest about my feelings. We share this weird, raw connection that I've never felt with anyone else. I see no point in lying about it, pretending it is something else, playing games. So, I'm going to be 100% honest with you now, ok?"

How does a heart-attack feel like again? Cause you're pretty sure you're about to have one. Your face is numb and your heart is doing somersaults in your chest. Somehow you notice you're nodding and Alex continues, even though she looks worried.

"I'm besotted with you. I really want us to try and take this to another level and I really want you to tell me if it's something you feel you'd like to do as well. What I mean is… fuck!"

She lets go of your hand to tug helplessly on her hair. You take pity on her and get to your knees on the bed, placing both hands on her cheeks, forcing her eyes up towards yours as you sit on her lap, legs on each side of her hips.

"Alex. I understand what you mean. I have no words to explain it either, there are probably a thousand things about me that would make you change your mind but I really, really want to see where this can go as well."

Her smile is so radiant that later, when everything goes to hell and you think back to this day, you'll figure out that this was the moment Piper Chapman fell in love with Alexandra Vause.


	4. Mojito Diablo

Chapter 4: Mojito Diablo

Alex stares at you like you've given her something akin to the moon and the stars. She covers your hands, that are still on her cheeks and pulls you forward to kiss you.

She's still smiling and it also makes you grin. This time you don't fuck like lesbian rabbits, you make love like a cavity-inducing couple from a sugary Harlequin novel. And when you come in her mouth, you have to close your eyes for a couple of moments and breathe through the tears that want to make a complete fool of you.

You throw an arm over your eyes as you feel Alex clean her wet mouth on your thigh before climbing up your body and bury her face in your neck to kiss the skin behind you ear.

"Hey, are you okay, babe?"

It's a huge effort but you manage to chase away your tears and when you take your arm off your face they are being kept away on a tight leash. Even if they snipped and barked at you, threatening to come loose again.

"Yes, just tired. I don't know how much more activity I can take before you find yourself having sex with a corpse."

Alex laughs in your ear and lets it end with a long, satisfied sigh. She slides to your side, on her back and puts one of her arms under your head, pulling you to curl against her body.

You are only half-awake at this point and barely feel a kiss brush your brow, her nimble, long fingers running over your hair, trying to work out the tangles.

"You're so beautiful, Piper..."

Then it's light out for you.

When you wake up again, it's to the smell of coffee and - wow - pancakes. You keep your eyes closed, because you are too comfortable to move. You can hear movement coming from somewhere in the apartment and burrow deeper into Alex's thick comforter. The bed is soft and comfortable as a bed made with expensive, 1.509.874 thread sheets should be. You know because it was the same brand you used at home and that you have slept your whole life. After all, your parents don't accept anything but the best. No imperfections.

And that's what they consider you, isn't it – an imperfection?

A hand on your hair breaks the depressing train of thought and the smell of coffee gets stronger. You open your eyes and smile when you see that Alex's face is right in front of you, her green eyes soft and framed again by her glasses.

"Hey…"

Your voice is raspy from sleep and you are so warm, and comfortable, you just peek at her from under mountains of covers. Outside, you can see it's snowing and you also realize you've missed school. Well, more work for you to cover. Crap…

You'll have to figure out how to tell Alex about your underage problem because at the rate you're going, she'll probably expect you to sleep over sometimes and you can't afford to skip school too much otherwise you'll get in trouble.

"Hey sleepyhead. I made us breakfast. Are you going to come out of there anytime soon?"

"It's cold…"

Alex laughs and mean as a hell, presses a freezing cold hand on your naked back. You scream and promptly fall off the bed, surrounded by covers like a blonde caterpillar. She tries to look contrite but the snickering is not helping.

After having breakfast in bed, you make love again and end up watching movies under a thick comforter on her couch, a huge bowl of popcorn between you. You spend your day lazing about, more naked than not, talking and having sex and just being together. Sometimes, when you look at Alex during the day, you ponder, again, how close you already are to each other after such a short time. Later, when night is almost upon you, you tell her you need to go home. You pull some lame excuse out of your ass about a course you're taking and needing to be there really early the next morning.

Alex has no reason not to believe you, so she drives you home. Your apartment feels very empty and quiet all of the sudden but you force yourself to be reasonable and not a crazy, too attached freak. You get your bag ready for school the next day and before going to bed, sit down with your laptop to start the English assignment. By the time homework is completed, your eyes are crossing and you realize it's almost 11.

You take a shower, missing Alex like crazy and wondering if you'll see her again, despite what she said about wanting to take things another step. As you get into bed, your phone beeps and you can't help but smiling when you see it's the devil herself.

Alex: Hey, kid.

You: Hey, Ms. Vause. Got home ok?

Alex is typing…

Alex: Yeah. Talked to my mom a little, took a shower and worked for a while. My assistant was a little pissed off I skipped work today without letting her know and didn't answer her calls.

You: You shouldn't have skipped work, Alex…

You could've just woke me up and told me to get the hell out.

Alex: As if… Baby, the Horsemen of the Apocalypse couldn't drive me away from that bed today. Or from you.

You: I'm glad we spent the day together, though.

It was the best day I've had in awhile.

Alex: Oh, Pipes… Me too, baby… Me too… Look, can I call you? I know it's late but I really wanna listen to your voice.

You: You don't have to ask, Alex.

You can call me anytime you want.

When your phone rings exactly 5 seconds later, you answer it with a smile on your face. It's fully charged, you are comfortable underneath your own fancy, soft and very expensive comforter and you just want to listen to Alex speak until you fall asleep with her voice running through your ears, through your heart, straight into your soul.

"Hi…" Alex's voice is truly the most beautiful sound you've ever heard in your life.

"Hey…"

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I had just got into bed when you called."

Alex's sigh is very audible on the other end of the line.

"God, I really wish I was in there with you."

Your heart is doing a 4th July parade inside your chest.

"I know. I miss you too."

You blush as soon as the words come out of your mouth, insecure about if that's what she really meant. Crap, you are truly and well fucked. This is moving too fast for you to be comfortable but you know there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Somehow, Alex is so deep in your heart, after so little time that you have no idea how you'll feel about her in a couple of months from now. It is difficult for you feeling so much when you are used to feeling so little.

You have no real attachments. The only people remotely close to you are Red, Nicky and Poussey and even they didn't know half of what you've already told Alex. At school, you keep your distance, mainly because you think that all your classmates are truly boring.

You have nothing in common and you find it difficult to relate to problems about nails, hair, parents or the-boy-that-I-like-that-wants-nothing-to-do-with-me.

You also have absolutely no interest in going to weird parties where people lose their virginity and blame warm beer and poor judgment. Most (99%) of your sexual partners after Stella – not too many but definitely not a few – were older and interested only in the same thing you were: sex.

You talk until you fall asleep. After that night, you and Alex start to develop a routine and your relationship changes dramatically. She comes to the club every Friday and stays until your shift ends. You spend the Saturday doing a bunch of couple-y things together, she goes to the club again with you, and repeat on the next day. But on Sunday, instead of taking you to your apartment then going home, somehow she ends up staying at your place instead. It's been two months and she now has a toothbrush and a drawer. You find yourself buying her favorite brand of cereal when you go grocery shopping and fruit you don't eat but she loves, like figs.

She has a shelf for you on her closet and your favorite yogurt on her freezer. An electric pink toothbrush sits next to her green one on the bathroom counter as well as two pairs of earrings and your favorite brand of body lotion. You don't know why but she loves to watch you rub the thing on your legs after you get out of the shower. You spent Christmas apart but the New Year was celebrated at the bar with everyone you felt were family to you and you couldn't be happier.

You do your homework when you can and it's been a struggle to catch up with everything but so far so good.

Thank God you have a very good memory that doesn't need a lot of prompting. You tell yourself you only have 5 more months to go 'till graduation and you'll be okay but you know it goes deeper than that.

It's now a cold winter Saturday and you're mixing three Bloody Marys on the counter in front of you while Alex hangs with Daya and Sophia, two friends from her company. Daya is a sweet, well-tempered latina girl, married to Alex's driver, John and works at the front desk and Sophia is a beautiful transex woman with chocolate skin, blondish hair and full lips who happens to be Alex's assistant and one of her closest friends.

Beyonce starts to sing about showing her lover how much she appreciates him and you immediately turn to stare at Nicky, a grin on your face. Her head snaps in your direction, a finger raising to point to Alex and you shake your head. Damn it! You know there is little chance she'll leave it alone.

And there it was. She places two chairs on top of the counter, lengthwise and facing each other. Customers who are regulars and have seen you do this before start to cheer and Hank, the D.J, kills the music. You curse under your breath.

Last time you did this whilst dating the results were a swollen nose and a broken relationship. Alex is looking at you with a raised eyebrow and a confused grin and you smile apologetically at her.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention on the bar for a moment. I want you to take a look at that beautiful blonde behind the counter. Do you see her?"

Cheers and catcalls are heard throughout the club. You look down, chagrined.

"Well, besides being a kick-ass bartender, she has another very nice ability, that you'll be seeing in a minute. Before you do, I want to ask a very luck woman to step up the counter and take a sit. Ms. Vause, do you mind?"

Damn it, Nicky! You send her a dirty look but she only grins at you, ignoring your fuming eyes. Alex is looking at you with a funny expression, the kind that tells you she has no idea what's going on but she knows she'll enjoy it anyway.

It helps you calm down a little. You wipe your sweaty hands on the dishcloth on your shoulder and then put it on the counter, taking deep breaths to steady yourself. You grab a bottle of Tequila and lemons and thank God you dressed carefully today – Tight leather shorts that go all the way above your bellybutton, white, loose, long-sleeved blouse complete with fuck me, 3 inches, red pumps. – and your makeup is flawless.

Nicky is helping Alex sit on the chair and you make your way around the counter until you're right next to her. She looks down, looking too relaxed for someone in such spotlight. Dimitri comes behind you and you lock eyes with Alex as he places both hands on your waist and raises you up until you're standing on top of the long counter, staring down at your…(girlfriend?) Alex.

"Well, Ms. Vause, I do hope you enjoy yourself. Our blonde bartender needs no introductions." Hanks says before turning the music on again.

The beat starts and you put the lemons on Alex's lap, keeping the bottle hanging by its neck between the middle fingers of your left hand.

"I just wanna...

Show you how much I appreciate you

Wanna show you how much I'm dedicated to you

Wanna show you how much I will forever be true…"

Alex's eyes widen to the size of saucers as her jaw hits the ground. Suddenly, it's just you and her and you've never felt more sexy or desirable in your life. You dance for her, perfectly choreographed by thousands of times doing this with Nicky and watching "Dance for You" video on Youtube.

"Wanna show you how much you got your girl feelin' good

Wanna show you how much, how much you're understood

Wanna show you how much, I value what you say

Not only are you loyal, you're patient with me bay

Wanna show you how much, I really care about yo heart

I wanna show ya how much, I hate being apart

Show ya, show ya, show ya til you're through with me

I wanna keep it how it is, so you can never

Say how it used to be…"

You move your hips in time with the song as you approach the chair and grab Alex's hair to pull her head back. Her eyes are blazing hot and she has both hands clasped so tightly on the chair you're afraid she'll break it. You rub a thumb against her temple, mouthing the words to her and when Beyonce starts singing that "Loving you is really all that's on my mind" you drop your head to her lap and grab a wedge of lemon between your teeth.

Alex shouts a very loud "Fuck".

You raise your upper body again, run your right hand up her thigh, all the way to her throat. Your thumb presses under her lower lip as you pull her mouth open.

"Tonight I'm gonna dance for you (ohh ooh ohh ohhh)

Tonight I'm gonna dance for you (ohh ooh ohh ohhh)

Tonight I'm gonna put my body on your body

Boy I like it when you watch me, ah

Tonight it's going down

I'll be rockin' on my babe rockin' rockin' on my babe

Swirlin' on you babe swirlin' swirlin on you babe

Baby lemme put my body on your body

Promise not to tell nobody cuz

It's bout to go down…"

Your hips swivel as you maneuver yourself until you're standing with her legs between yours, looking down at her while you pour a shot of Tequila down her throat. She swallows, eyes open and locked with yours. Her hands travel to your ass and when you lower your head and give her the lemon that's on your mouth, they squeeze. You stay still while she sucks the juice off, the scene incredibly erotic. You leave the wedge in her mouth and take a step back to dance the last chorus while she stares at you with an aroused astonishment.

As the song comes to a slow end, you give her a peck in the lips and her restrain is shot to hell. She devours you whole, tongue so deep in your mouth you can taste her in the back of your throat.

The club is a mix of catcalls and whistles and when you come to everyone seems to be staring at you. Including a very aroused, very hooded-eyed Alex. She grabs you by the hair to pull your ear close to her mouth.

"I'm only letting you go because I like Red very much. But when we get home, I'll be playing that song again. On an endless loop, actually."

You laugh as you climb down the counter and you go back to your drinks as Alex returns to her spot with her friends.

Nicky, who looks very pleased with herself, and Poussey come to your corner a few times to chat for a while and for you, life is very good.

Sadly, your track record should show you that when things are too calm, destiny always manages to give things a shake.

That's how, in the middle of your shift - right after Alex tells you she's going to the bathroom - when the bar is so full you're getting order by triples and Poussey is on her break, you look up to the next customer and find yourself staring into a very familiar pair of grey-blue eyes.

"Stella?"

Music is blasting – ironically Bee again, this time saying that "you showed your ass and I saw the real you" – and you're uncomfortably catapulted to not so distant past.


	5. Paloma Brava

Chapter 5: Paloma Brava

Stella was your first real love. It's difficult for you to explain to someone who doesn't exactly know you how the woman that now stands in front of you was a breath of fresh air on your very empty and dark existence.

You've never loved anyone before Stella. Not even your parents or your obnoxious, self-centered brothers. You had no friends, no close family and even Granny was too distant to be considered someone you loved.

So when Stella appeared she swept you away.

And not in a nice manner.

You met when you were a sophomore and she was a junior. Her parents were silly rich and when she arrived at Horace Mann, transferred from a boarding school in Melbourne, you two had met in a friend's birthday party and had hit off right away. Even if you were an improbable match.

She approached you in Advanced Lit the day after the party, quoting Edgar Allan Poe, (one of your favorites) – "I was never insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched." – with that incredible Australian accent and several colorful tattoos that mesmerized you.

The two of you quickly became inseparable and soon after, you turned 15, two weeks after you met. On the day of your birthday, she took you to a gay bar. You'd known Stella was gay since the moment you'd laid eyes on her and she knew you dipped into the bisexual pool.

But, she'd never made any kind of advance towards you and you'd figured you just weren't her type. So that day, when she smuggled you inside a friend's bar with fake IDs, hand clasped firmly in yours and kissed you on the dance floor to the sound of "Clarity" – If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? – with strobe lights flashing around, you were definitely surprised.

Your parents never liked Stella, from the moment she'd first been to your house, ironically, not by your invitation but by your father's.

Her mother was an important judge who had deep connections in several places. Connections were your father's last name. To have a judge in his pocket would be the cherry on top of his slime fudge sundae.

But when Stella arrived with her mom, dad and a younger brother (Emmett), your parents were promptly scandalized by her black hair, shaved on the right side and curling along her jaw on the left, tattoos and tongue piercing.

It hadn't helped that Emmett was just as shocking at just 13: long black hair braided down his back, a ring on the middle of his lower lip and barefoot.

He was a vegan that preached very harshly about animal rights and the most intelligent boy you had ever had the pleasure of meeting. You had missed him deeply when things started getting bad between Stella and you. Specially your long conversations about literature and politics.

You can still remember the look on your mom's face – as if she'd smelled something rotten – and your father's polite distance.

The night had been uneventful and weird and even if you and Stella had laughed about it later, you remember that you had been really ashamed, though not for the first time, to have your parents as parents.

And then Stella had started coming over, after your birthday, and you had crazy sex whenever and wherever you could (you can still remember that afternoon on your parents bed).

Bill had promptly forbidden you from bringing her over again but by then Stella had her claws really deep into you. That, combined with the fact that you despised your whole family, only caused you to flip and have the fight with your father that had resulted on your emancipation, consequently leaving home, and never going back.

Stella had moved in with you two months after that. You'd rented a small, two bedroom apartment when you left your parent's house and one day she just showed up with a bag and stayed. Emmett was a constant presence at your place. So much the second bedroom was quickly filled with PETA posters and lots of black.

You had transferred from your beloved Horace Mann – your father had stopped paying for your tuition – to a public school close to home and that was pretty much when your problems had started.

Stella had to stay at Horace, something her mother wouldn't budge about. But she was also very possessive and neurotic, thinking that you were somehow going to run away with one of your teachers or something equally stupid.

So you started to fight a lot.

You got a job at Red's (another huge fight), Emmett stopped coming so much because the fighting disturbed him deeply. Stella drank too much and too often and one night you caught her in your bed with one of the girls from Horace, a pretty little red haired that used to be in your Art's class.

You had tried to recover from it but you were never quite fixed. Like a glass that breaks and you glue it together again. It can still serve its purpose but it no longer looks pretty. Stella tried to make it up to you but it was too little, too late at that point. And that was the end of a very tiring, very consuming relationship.

Until this day you've never set eyes on her again.

And you hated how the past slammed into you like a freaking train. You knew for sure that you didn't love Stella anymore. She was a turning point in your life and you loved her because she was someone who even though hurt you a lot was of major importance into making you the person you are today.

You used to be afraid of what your reaction would be like once you set eyes on her again but you can only think of Alex. Alex's touch, Alex's smell, Alex's laughter. Stella is in front of you but you can only see Alex's black hair and the way her glasses slip on the bridge of her nose and she pushes them up softly as she reads, in deep concentration.

"Hey, kitten."

Stella's Australian draw is like a rope that suddenly snaps you back to the present. The music slams you into reality and you immediately look at Nicky with pleading, anguish eyes.

She's busy with a customer and hasn't spotted you yet and your heart is beating so fast you're starting to feel faint.

Because if I ever meet her or bump into her in the fucking street, I'll do more than blacken one of her eyes…

Never in your wild dreams you'd thought Alex would ever get a chance to meet Stella so soon. I mean, you lived in NY for fucking sake. What were the odds? But you don't fool yourself into thinking this is in anyway a manageable situation.

There will be no keeping Alex from Stella. You'll just have to figure out how to turn this encounter into a 3 meter wave crashing down into your skull instead of a Tsunami of epic proportions.

"Stella, hi. What can I help you with?"

She cocks her head and gives you a patented Stella smile, just the corner of her mouth raises then she places the tip of her tongue on her lower lip. It used to drive you crazy. Now you can only compare it to Alex's much sexier smirk.

"Oh, so I'm back to being Stella, right?"

It's your turn to cock your head to the side and look at her. Back in the days - when you used to be so much in love it was ridiculous - she was Ella to you. You had moaned it, screamed it, sighed it and cursed it. But somehow, after everything she'd done, after she'd truly and royally managed to fuck up in so many ways, the nickname had drained out of you with the love you felt for her.

She was back to being a stranger and it was a little sad that someone who was once such a big part of your life was now of such little importance.

"Isn't that your name?"

"Ouch. I guess I deserve this. Look, I really need to talk to you."

Goddamn motherfucking it all to hell, shit!

You don't want to talk to her. Is there anything left to say between the two of you? For Christ sake, she's beating up a dead cat with the let's-remember bat.

"Oi. Taylor Swift, there's a mob starting to form here, leave your Vausy shenanigans for later and…"

Nicky raises her eyes from the Heinekens she's popping open and blanches when she catches sight of who exactly you're talking to. It's interesting to see her face go from greyish-white to volcano red in under two seconds. You turn towards her and take four steps forward to grab her by the arms, shouting a stricken "NICKY!" because you know shit is hitting the fan faster than you can clean it up.

"Nick, NICKY, I need you to help me. Stop! Look at me, I need you to go to the bathroom and keep Alex from coming to the bar. Please… I don't want Stella starting shit for your mom again. I'm going to get her out of here and be back in ten minutes. Please, Nicky. Help me."

She snaps her eyes back to you and when you look over your shoulder Stella is still staring at both of you, a closed off expression on her pretty face.

"You better make it quick, Chapman because I'm not lying to Alex and when she finds out Stella is here God himself wouldn't be able to keep her from that bitch. And you better be prepared for some backlash as well. Vause is not the jealous type but when she gets that train going it doesn't stop at a station."

Meanwhile, Poussey is back from her break and, wide-eyed, agrees to handle the bar alone for the next ten minutes so you nod towards the club's back door, looking at Stella and not waiting to see if she's followed you out.

"So, you and Nicky, huh?"

Her accent is heavier when she's pissed and you turn to look at her, shooting at her with your eyes. Two can play the let's-be-angry-at-our-exes game.

"No. You don't get to do this. You wanted to talk, you talk. Ten minutes. That's how much more of my time I'm willing to give you. It's been awhile Stella, I'm curious to know what can you still possibly have to discuss with me."

She lights a cigarette, placing it between her lips, colored a wine red and smirks at you, all sarcasm and hurt.

"I miss you."

You stare at her in a dumbfounded confusion before you laugh.

"Are you FUCKING kidding me, Stella?"

Her expression closes off and becomes dangerous and you think: shit…

"I'm not FUCKING with you, Piper, although I wish… Apparently, Nichols is. Remember Nicky? The one I caught you almost fucking on top of that same counter? The one you said was just a friend? I guess she doesn't mind you pulling the ho routine for other women though."

You vibrate with such anger it's difficult to form words.

"She seems a little old for you, kitten. But again, you've always liked your wine aged, haven't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not with Nicky. I'm seeing someone, yes. Not that's any of your business. And don't you dare turn this on me. Just tell me what the hell you want Stella, and go away. We were done a long time ago, it's been a year, we've moved on and that's it."

She moves so fast you yelp in surprise. One minute she's standing on the other side of the alley on the back of the club and suddenly she's grabbing your arm, her cigarette burns a hole in your forearm before she drops it to the floor. You flinch when she punches the wall right next to your head and shouts it right into your face.

"Well, I haven't. I haven't moved on."

You flinch again, deeply uncomfortable with the situation. Both of your hands are on her chest now, pushing her away from you when suddenly she's gone.

"You better keep your hands away from her, if you want to keep them."

When you look to your right you see Alex is staring at Stella with murderous intent. Her body is tight like a coiled spring, both hands fisted by her sides. Nicky stares at you – half apologetic, half told you so – and goes back inside to help Poussey with the bar. It's nerve wrecking to know that if anything goes wrong you'll have to control it alone.

"Wow… One dance and you're already hooked, lamb? And I see that Nichols is the sharing type. If I've known this before I'd just…"

Stella was never one to control her mouth.

Cursing, you make a move to jump in front of Alex but she's already halfway towards Stella. Her hand closes around the other woman's throat and slams her against the wall. You shout a desperate "Alex!" and grabs her arm. It's like trying to move a truck by pulling a rope. She's all dangerous power in that lean body and you have no idea what to do.

"The dance was for me, chap. Just for me. Are you following me here? She's with me. Not with Nichols, not with you or anybody else for that matter. Me. You keep your hands off what's mine and we won't need to have this conversation again. She's mine, Stella, and it's time for you to let go. You had your chance, you blew it and that's it. Let's part like friends and never see each other again, right? Don't come near my girlfriend again, or we'll have serious problems."

Despite the less than happy situation, you feel over the moon at being called Alex's girlfriend.

Stella's look is wounded and murderous. You look at her and shake your head.

"Ella, I… It's done. I'm sorry you feel like you still have something to work out between us but I'm not on the same page anymore. I love Alex. The time gap for us to be having this conversation has long passed. I'm really sorry."

"Fuck you, Piper! Are you kidding me with this? I know I made mistakes damn it but I paid for them! I love you! We were good together!"

Alex is a tall bunch of energy next to you and you can feel anger rolling out of her like waves.

"Ella, I said no. It's over. Go home. Leave us alone."

Stella gives you a murderous look, turns on her back and leaves. As soon as your ex disappears into the night, you feel your arm being grabbed as she turns you around to face her.

"Piper, is it true?"

Your eyes are huge in your face as you stare up at Alex.

"What is?"

"What you said to Stella. About you two being over?"

"Yes. Alex, how can you doubt this?"

She looks surprised at the question and when she kisses you her mouth is hard and unforgiving, her hands grabbing your arms roughly.

"Don't lie to me. Ever. I hated coming out of that bathroom and knowing you'd tried to stall me."

You say nothing, feeling a cloud of doom over your head. You need to tell her, soon. But how do you do that when you've just found out how essential she is to your life? How do you do it when you know that it's something that can turn her away from you for good? Specially considering how long you've been lying to her?

Another month went by. A month of happiness where you felt yourself going deeper and deeper into your own lie. Your 18th birthday was coming in a few months and you still haven't dug up the courage to tell Alex. She knows the date but apparently and like you've already suspected, she had got the basics from Nicky so she thought you were turning 23.

Your graduation is in four months and you're knee deep studying for the finals at the same time you have work and Alex to manage. It's too hard and you got a thousand balls in air, trying not to let any of them fall to the floor.

You would have succeeded. If it wasn't for your father.


	6. Adios Motherfucker

Chapter 6: Adios Motherfucker

CHAPTER 6

It's incredible how one of the worst days of a person's life can start so normally.

Alex is staying at your place, it's your day off but you need to go to school to deliver an English Paper that's 40% of your final grade.

You tell Alex the same bullshit story about a course you've been taking at a community college and go while she sleeps in.

Alex wakes up right after you leave. Since she's taking a day off too, she decides to just be lazy until you come back. She cooks herself breakfast and sits down to watch some TV. While she eats, Alex is thinking of you. She's thinking about how brave and exceptional you are and how much in love with you she is.

When the phone rings, she gets up to answer without thinking about it. Her eyes are focused on the TV because she doesn't want to miss a particular interesting scene of Delphine and Cosima from Orphan Black.

"Hello?"

"I'm looking for Piper Chapman."

"She's not home at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"I'm Silvia, Mr. Chapman's assistant. Can you please ask her to call me back? It's about her mother."

Alex's attention is snapped back to the phone.

"Oh. I'll tell her. Is her mom ok?"

"I can only rely the message to Piper. Please tell her to call me back. Ah, ask her to talk to her high school and take Mr. Chapman's name off her contact information sheet. They keep calling about her missing classes?"

Alex is still kind of confused and scoffs on the phone.

"Classes? I think you've got the wrong number. Piper doesn't go to school. She's taking classes at a community college..."

The woman's voice is clipped and cool.

"Excuse me young lady, it seems you're the one with the wrong information here. Piper Chapman can't be attending college since she hasn't finished High School. This generation is lost, I tell you. Just rely the message. Thank you."

She hangs up and Alex stares at the phone, her stomach dropping. When she hangs up, her mind is racing, trying to find a proper reason for that information. She had always prided herself on being cool headed and mature. But at that moment you had something else against you. Alex was so deep in love with you she was in that point you felt half out of your mind with happiness and love and the other half was crazy with worry.

She tries taking her mind off it, waiting for you to talk about it but the crazy half never let her. Feeling sick and disgusted with herself, Alex opens your laptop and logs in. It doesn't take long for her to feel even worse. Between school papers and pictures she opens your Google Drive and finds a scanned copy of your driver's license. There, clear as day is your birthdate: July 7th, 1999.

You get home barely half an hour after. Alex has already closed your computer and is a ball of energy walking back and forth in your living room like a caged lion. She's nursing a beer when you arrive feeling happy and relaxed. School is finally over. Finals are done, papers delivered and feels like a big step of your life is over and done. You are free.

But Alex's face is closed off and guarded and she barely lets you kiss her which finally makes you realize something is very wrong.

"Alex? What's wrong?"

She stares at you like she'd never seen you before. Gone is the sweet, loving Alex and in her place you see someone you don't really recognize. It kind of freaks you out a little. You reach for her but she steps away from you, placing a hand on her forehead and rubbing it like she has a headache.

"I told you to never lie to me. I told you it was something really important for me, to have someone I could trust and believe in, always."

You blanch. At that moment in time, your world just halts and you feel suspended.

"What are you talking about, Alex? I've never lied to you…"

Even as the words leave your mouth, you cringe because you know they aren't true. She whirls at you, her face blushing and her eyes blazing.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" She smashes the bottle on the center table and gets up in fury, tugging on her hair. "God, you're such a manipulative cunt!"

"Alex…" You start shaking all over, the feeling of helplessness making your knees weak and your heart drop. You knew this was going to happen. You knew it. You knew nothing good could ever come out of you being happy. When had happy ever worked for you?

You don't push her, by now resigned that she's going to break up with you and you'll never see her again in your life. Your heart is hurting in such a way you have no strength left in you whatsoever. This is way worse than Stella and she hasn't even said the words yet.

You're crying but not really feeling it, big tears streaming down your face. The tension in your body is so great that everything hurts.

"You are 17 fucking years old! You let me believe you were turning 24! I'm 10 years older than you. I could go to jail! Why didn't you say something?!"

You open and close your mouth as you try to speak but sound never comes out. Apparently it was a rhetorical question because she keeps talking, never giving you a chance to explain.

"How is that possible, tell me. You lied to me. I hate being lied to. Good God, you're still a minor. You are a child!"

She's shouting and pacing and you start to hyperventilate. You really have no idea how to get out of this situation. It seems that everything you say or do is going to be pointless.

"Alex, I know you're upset. But could you let me explain?"

"Upset?! Fuck you, Piper, of course I'm upset. The mature, interesting woman I'm falling in love with is a fucking TEENAGER! Of course I'm upset!"

She roars and you just sit on the couch, waiting for her to either calm down or just sit next to you and start talking. Or maybe is that your energy has been seeped by the fight. Either way you wait placidly, head down, staring at your hands on your lap, tears streaming down your face like rain on the windshield.

After a minute, Alex sits as far away from you as she can, body still rigid. You never raise your head and just wait for her to do something, anything that will take you out of your misery.

"Talk."

You clear your throat and wish you had a glass of water available, but you're not going to ask for one. What does one do when their world crumbles?

"Hmm, after I started dating Stella, my father got even more aware of the fact that I wasn't exactly normal, and told me to stop bringing her to the house. Contact with her should be kept minimal and only because her parents were extremely rich and powerful. At the time, I went to a private School here in NY and after my 15th birthday, Stella and me were pretty much attached to the hip. She made everything bearable."

You swallow, feeling like you're reliving everything.

"So, there was this weekend, a week after my birthday, that we were supposed to be on a family trip to the Hamptons but at the last minute dad said he had an emergency at work and didn't go. Without him, mom started to drink, things got pretty heated between us and after I was smacked around for a while and wouldn't take anymore shit I decided to leave. So, I left her there with my brothers and went back home. I arrived in the middle of the night and since I didn't know if dad was home or not I was extra silent because I didn't want to wake him up and start another argument."

Alex's hands tighten on the arm of the couch. You keep your head down and your eyes on your lap, otherwise you won't be able to finish this.

"Hmm… well, he was actually home. Having sex on the kitchen counter with a woman younger than me."

"What?!"

Alex's shout breaks you out of your reverie and you whip your head to look at her, frowning in confusion. By now, you're deep into your memories, accessing an area of your brain you wished you could erase so it's difficult for you to focus on her. She's staring at you with a weird expression but you just hang your head again to look at your hands, playing with the elephant ring on your middle finger.

"Yeah, imagine my shock. Dad cursed a lot, yelled a lot. The woman he was with left just as we were yelling back and forth. And then he just kind of punched me. I guess after that he just couldn't stop. He kept hitting me and I don't remember much about it. I remember waking up in a hospital, chained to the bed and drugged. He had me committed at one of those clinics that preach to turn gay people straight, you know?"

"He did what?"

Alex's question goes unanswered as you just continue the story. Is like a cancer you have to get out.

"Stella came to get me after a week. She set her mom after him and he was threatened with all kinds of public exposure. Stella's mom said she'd tell everyone of minimum importance she knew what a scumbag he was. He finally caved and told them where I was. But until they came for me, it was hell."

Your voice breaks and you swallow again, desperately wishing for a glass of water. You can barely be heard now. Your eyes are fixed on the floor as you relay your story, stuck in your own personal hell, and don't feel Alex's fingers brushing the hair back from your fevered brow.

"I was very sick for awhile. They gave me those icy baths, you know? When Stella came for me I think I was halfway crazy. Well... I contacted my mom, told her about it. She… she refused to believe me. Dad had told her I had ran away with Stella, bad-mouthed him and some other shit. In the end it was Denise, Stella's mom, who had the emancipation idea. I made a deal that I'd disappear from their lives and forget everything I saw and been through and he would sign the papers and release my half of the inheritance."

"Oh Pipes…"

"Please, don't. Just… ask me what you want to know and let's get this over with. I don't want to remember anymore…"

Alex's frowns and you sink even more in the couch, feeling a tiredness so great your bones feel old and rusty.

"Who knows?"

"Red, Stella and her family. Now you. Red asked if I could keep it quiet until I turned 18. The police would think she was employing a minor and could give her trouble. Specially because she's an ex-convict."

"What about Nicky? Poussey?"

"No."

"Are you going to school?"

"Yeah. While you work in the mornings, I go to school. Took my last finals today and delivered my last papers. Graduation is at the end of the month."

Alex frowns again. You look anywhere but at her face.

"Why did you lie to me?"

It's a whisper but at the same time it's so loud that you flinch. And that's the big, pink, dancing in a tutu elephant in the room, right?

"I lie to everybody, Alex. I never tell people my age because then I have to explain a bunch of things that I don't want to remember. I never tell people my age because they don't take me seriously. You never asked me how old I was and I just… at first I thought you were going to be a one night stand, like the rest. And when we started to get closer I was really afraid you'd leave if you knew. I mean, I don't know… I wanted to tell you but I could never find the right moment and…"

"Bullshit. Piper, we had plenty of moments."

"I wanted to tell you. I really did... I just wished I… I didn't want to lose you."

When Alex looks at you again you feel like a hammer is hanging above your head by a thread.

"Well, I guess that didn't help matters any. I understand you, Piper and I'm terribly sorry about everything you went through but I take my relationships very seriously. Once you break my trust it's very difficult to get it back and let's be honest here, you didn't lie about something silly, you lied about something that could get me in prison. You are a minor, Piper and whether you are emancipated or not, the law stills sees you as a minor for many things. If someone had called the police and told them we were dating, I'd have been arrested without even knowing what crime I'd committed."

Your ears are buzzing and you wonder how you'll be able to live without her, live with the knowledge that you were the one who screwed things up. Now you actually know how Stella was feeling. Your face is too numb for you to feel the tears but Alex sees them and looks constricted. You know she's breaking up with you but you feel so numb it's like you're floating. You remember another time you felt like this.

Almost three years ago, when you were in that clinic. That time you had felt numb as well, disconnected from yourself, from your body, secured in a safe place.

"I'm sorry, Piper. I need to think about everything you told me, everything I'm feeling. I was going to tell you today, after we got home that I'm going to Berlin for three weeks to handle a bad shipment. I wanted you to come with me but I… I'm really sorry. I need time. When I come back we'll talk again and see…"

Your body is in the apartment but your mind is locked somewhere deep inside yourself. Alex's face is in a tunnel far away from you and her voice is distorted, like it's coming from a slow-motion scene in a movie. You feel yourself nodding and when you get up, you have to lock your knees together because they wobble and you think that maybe you're going to fall on your face and make an even bigger fool of yourself.

It was a trip down a really nasty memory lane and it's the first time since it happened that you went back to that kitchen, to that situation, to that life. With Stella, you didn't have to say anything. She simply knew. And you never talked about it again.

"Piper!"

Alex's voice is closer and you turn your head to look at her, kind of sluggish.

"I'll walk you to the door. Sorry about everything and…hmm…have a nice trip to Berlin."

Your voice is weird… You try to smile but you don't know if it came right. She reaches for you and her hand is somehow in the vicinity of your waist and you think she touches your back but you can't be sure. You're so numb you just want to sleep. You think you'll probably sleep for a while now.

Alex is talking but you can't hear anything, you just see her lips moving. Your feet take you to the door, and you see her getting to the elevator and inside. There's so much anguish in her face and you want to comfort her, to say it was all your fault but the numbness is spreading. To your face, your eyes, to your soul. The door close on her and you feel like you've just died a little inside.


	7. Painkillers

Chapter 7: Painkillers

You don't believe your ears. As you stare at Piper, the beautiful woman that you've been in love with for what seems like lifetimes you can't help but think that there is something seriously wrong about this picture. She is 17 years old and you feel like a pedophile. But she's also a woman in so many ways.

You've had a list as long as your arm of relationships; casual, serious, almost marriages. But you've never been with someone so easy to love and live with than Piper. She is mature about several aspects of her life and with a calm that you envy sometimes. She never takes things for granted, she's incredibly responsible – with her work, her money, her things – and she takes good care of you and your relationship. But she's 17. She's also lied and manipulated you with such ease you wonder if there anything else you should know about.

When she gets home, she tries to explain and looks so damn contrite, it irritates the hell out of you because you don't want to feel sorry for her, you want to stay mad. Otherwise, you'll let this whole thing go and fall to her feet, asking for forgiveness.

She stays quiet after you call her a manipulative cunt and it makes you feel even worse. When you finish ranting, she looks tired a diminutive. When she finally starts to talk and mentions Stella your feathers get ruffled all over again.

Only to get thrown a bucket of cold water right in the face when she talks about – GOD! – being beaten and committed. It's like you've been punched by a pretty girl with a pink, princess dress. Completely unexpected. She doesn't look at you when you touch her forehead and brushes the hair back from her brow, worrying about the unhealthy color of her face and vacant eyes.

You ask questions that don't seem so important now and when she mentions that she goes to school in the mornings as you work you struggle between being disappointed because that was something else she lied about and being awed and wondering how the hell she manages such long workload.

Even though you despise yourself, you tell her you need to think. You don't want to stay because you pity her. You need to search within yourself to really understand what you feel and how to overcome this. You tell her about your trip to Berlin and how you are going soon and you see as she - you don't know how to explain this - goes away in front of your eyes.

You have her body with you but it's like the rest of her is gone. Her blue eyes are a terrible shade of grey, kind of misty and tears fall non-stop down her cheeks now, almost like she has a terrible leak somewhere in her brain. You don't think she feels it, though.

She propels herself out of the couch and sways. You call her name but when she turns her head, she looks sluggish, like she's drugged somehow. Crap, that's now how you envisioned this going.

"I'll walk you to the door. Sorry about everything and…hmm…have a nice trip to Berlin."

She smiles but it's like a child smiling for an unwanted picture. All stretched and tight and fake looking. Breaks your fucking heart. And her voice, Jesus, it's dead. A chilling monotone that scares the crap out of you.

You touch her back because she starts to sway again.

"Pipes, c'mon… We'll work things out, don't… just, I'll stay here, ok? I'll sleep on the couch and I can go home tomorrow."

But she turns towards the door, mumbling things about bears and you are seriously worried, now. You can see she's not being manipulative or trying to get you to pity her. Suddenly, you wished you were more careful with your words, with how you confronted her.

You leave and as the elevator doors close the only thing left are your regrets.

Days pass as a blur to you.

Your father's assistant calls again. Cold as a winter night she tells you your mother is dead.

Car accident. Two months ago. Your father called because there was something in her will to you. You aren't sure how you feel about it. You don't know you have enough to feel about it. Your mom and you were strangers long before you left home. You feel bad not because your mother is dead but because no one told you before and you had no opportunity to say goodbye to the woman who put you in this world. You stay silent through the cold assistant's explanation and just tell her to have the lawyer contact you.

Nights, days, afternoons and the meals between are all bunch together like a childhood memory you want to recall but it's become blurry with age. You think about Alex all the time. Sadness pulls you under like an iron ball around your ankle. You have to leave home because the walls drive you a little mad. Everything about your apartment reminds you of Alex and there isn't a single space in there you can find solace from the memories.

Sleep is never an option as well because since you've opened that humungous can of worms a week ago at Alex's place you can't seem to close it again. Your brain is tired. You can't seem to get a wink of rest. Every time you close your eyes and sleep grabs you, you scream yourself awake, feeling the pain, the humiliation.

You are afraid you're losing your mind. Again.

Eating is sporadic and you do it only when Red or Nicky or Poussey badger you and keep feeding you random things that never taste quite right. Everything is like paste in your mouth. Tasteless, with a strange texture, difficult to swallow.

You work until your drop. Since Alex left, you've started coming at the beginning of the shift, before Nicky and before Poussey. Red tried to talk you out of it on the first couple of days. But once she saw you would keep coming anyway, staying out of the club, sometimes in line with customers, she decided it would be best to keep a close eye on you.

So you went to work, you went home. You slept maybe two hours each night and ate here and there just to keep your friends happy. Sometimes you have headaches and on the second week Alex's gone you wake up one day with a sore throat. But you just shrug it off and keep your rhythm. So on week 3 without Alex your body decides to collect.

You open your eyes in the morning and your head feels like it's being speared by something sharp and wet – why is your bedroom ceiling spinning? – and you have to close them again because they feel too dry.

Everything hurts too much for you to bother. You just burrow further under the covers and let sweet oblivion come. When you open your eyes again, it's already night out. You feel feverish and sluggish and you realize it's probably time to go to the club. Even though you're hot, when you throw the duvet off you, suddenly it's like you're standing naked in Antarctica.

Chills are so strong you're like a dancing skeleton walking to the bathroom.

Your body wants to throw up but you don't have anything worth throwing up in your stomach. You sort of blackout on the toilet. When you come to again, you're confused. It's hard to stand but you do it out of sheer stubbornness. Your body's last energy reservation is used getting you to bed.

The world stops spinning momentarily when you lay down and you're suddenly so, so cold.

Your throat is on fire, you can barely swallow. What was an uncomfortable raspy feeling is now molten lava. You grab your phone and text Nicky, asking her to please tell Red you're not feeling too good and you need to stay home for a couple of days.

And then you bury yourself under your covers.

When you wake up, screaming again, your body is on fire and you think your brain is leaking through your ears. Your head hurts and you cry. You hate being sick… There's a pounding sound, persistent and annoying that you think is your head but it's actually the door.

You cocoon yourself into the duvet and have to drag yourself out of bed and into the living room. White spots dance in your vision, that's rapidly funneling. Crap, you're going to pass out. As you open the door, you can only catch a glimpse of bushy hair before the floor rushes to meet you. Arms cradle you close as a litany of very colorful curses in a melodic raspy voice sounds in your ear.

"Nicky?"

You get back from Berlin before the aforementioned three weeks but you decide to keep that time apart and think a bit more about things. So that's why, when your doorbell rings at 3 am on a Saturday you actually think somehow Piper has figured out you're back and came to talk. Maybe Nicky spilled the beans while trying to play matchmaker, you don't know.

She wasn't very forwarding with information about Piper so you guess everything was ok. Something didn't feel right for you, though. You have a nagging feeling in the back of your brain, like a small, blinking light that won't leave you alone.

The doorbell shrills again and you yell a COMING, wanting to complement with a "hold your horses, motherfucker", but if it's Piper you don't want her to feel hurt.

You pad barefoot towards the door, on your grey pajama pants and white top, putting your glasses on.

When you burst open the door, a little too harshly, you stared dumbfoundedly, because the person standing there, looking at you is not Piper. It's Nicky.


	8. Blue Motherfucker

Chapter 8: Blue Motherfucker

"Nicky? What the fuck are you doing here? It's 3 am!"

"I need you to come with me. It's Piper."

Your stomach plummets down to your feet.

"Piper? What happened?"

"No time to explain, lesbian, let's go."

When you wake up again, you are confused. You can barely open your eyes, but you can feel your body is moving. There's a sharp, annoying, almost maddening pain in your left ear. Your mouth is dry and pasty and you feel too cold but too hot at the same time. But the smell…

It hits you all at once, that soft, tangy aftertaste of vanilla and blueberries. Hair is brushing your face softly but it's not yours. It's where the smell comes from. Your head is pillowed on a pair of breasts and arms hold your upper body. Your whole body is cocooned like you're a Piper filled burrito, only your blonde hair appearing at the top. But even with your eyes still closed you know that the arms around you, that the hair on your face and that vanilla and blueberry smell is Alex's.

You open your eyes with a lot of difficulty and out of sheer stubbornness because you have to check. When you manage to peel your lids apart, Alex's face is the first thing you see. Only her profile because she's talking to someone on her right side.

"Alex?" The word is mouthed since your throat is completely shut down; sound is impossible. Your left eardrum feels like it's being pierced with a pointy crochet needle but you can only look up at Alex. Either you're having a really good dream or she's really here, all black hair and pale skin and wonderful smells.

Suddenly, you're crying. You've never thought you'd feel her arms around you again. She jolts in place when she feels you move and her head whips to look at you.

"Pipes!"

You sob, soundless, making your ear throb even more. Alex pulls you up completely to her lap now, murmuring in your good ear.

"Shhh, babe… It's going to be ok, kid. I've got you now… Everything is going to be fine…"

Oh, how you want to believe her. You think you'd give your right arm in order to have faith in what she's saying but you can't help but wonder what's going to happen now. Alex's arms tighten around you and you can't move because you have both limbs wrapped close to your chest underneath the comforter. She kisses the skin above your ear, burying her nose in your hair. It's sticking to your head because of the sweat, the mane all tangled from your constant twist and turning but Alex doesn't seem to mind and you are actually too tired and hurting to give a fuck.

"Shhh, Pipes… No more crying, sweetie… I'm here…"

Your sobs stop after a little while. Apparently, there's really nothing your body wouldn't do for this woman, so when she asks you to stop crying you suddenly don't feel the need to bawl your eyes out any longer. You move yourself a little to get into a more comfortable position and Alex helps, getting you sitting instead of half-laying on her lap. When she does, you can realize several things.

1) You're in a moving car.

2) It's Dimitri's car. And Red's driving.

3) Nicky is on the back seat and probably who Alex was talking to.

"Alex, where are we going?" You realize Alex has her face on your neck and is strangely immobile; you frown.

"Chapman, next time you pull a stunt like this I'll kick your ass." Nicky says, seemingly half-serious, half-joking.

"I'm sorry… I didn't… what's going on?"

"You've got yourself sick, that's what's going on. Two days with no news from you, that's what's going on."

You frown, making a mental assessment of your body.

"I feel fine…" It's like a huge, humongous lie but you don't like the way Alex is looking at you.

Nicky and Alex stare at you like you've lost your mind. Alex actually snickers.

"Pipes, we've been trying to wake you up for almost an hour. You have a fever that doesn't go away and your voice sounds like crap. You were actually hallucinating a moment ago – some crap about Google and a conspiracy to take over the internet – and you don't even know how to use the computer all that well. We're taking you to the hospital."

You blanche. Then you start to hyperventilate. You abhor hospitals. Ever since you were admitted to that damn clinic you couldn't stand to be poked and prodded, the smells of the sterile and gray environment. You had panic attacks on the few occasions you had been sick enough to be taken there. You knew you'd be left alone, to sleep in a strange, dark room, nurses that weren't that nice and sometimes hurt you.

"Alex… I don't want to go." You hate sounding like a kid and reinforcing the gap between your ages and unfortunately, it wasn't something you could help. "I'm always alone. Don't make me go…" The Tylenol Alex had managed to get down your throat before you left was starting to work and you were starting to sweat. Either that or you were more terrified than you've thought.

Nicky snickers.

"C'mon, kid. They're just gonna poke you a little. I'm dying to see you on those camisoles that leave your ass out to get fresh air."

You moan in despair and close your eyes.

Alex touches your chin, silently pushing it up a little so you can look into her eyes.

"Hey… Tell me what's wrong."

God, your ear is killing you.

"I'm afraid of hospitals. Since… since the clinic... I… God, my ear is killing me…"

It's like a drill into your eardrum. You whimper and Alex brings you closer. You can't know but right at that moment, she's harboring homicidal thoughts towards you parents. She spends the rest of the ride to the hospital trying to distract you from the pain and making you forget you're probably going to be poked a lot.

When you get there, she's like a tornado. She leaves the convoy on the front desk filling up papers and go with you to the exam room. The whole process is horrible. Needles and x-rays and IV's and antibiotics and 3 hours later they let you know you have a combination of three things: The beginning of pneumonia (apparently if you had it once it was easier for a common cold to become pneumonia again), a nasty otitis and an even worse laryngitis. Such fun…

That's how you find yourself hospitalized, wearing the damn camisole (Nicky wouldn't let you hear the end of it, kept trying to open it in the back to peek at your ass) and being fed red Jell-O – at least it was your favorite - by Alex, who seemed to be finding your predicament adorable.

They let you take a shower before bed and before sticking that atrocious IV needle in your vein so now you smelled pretty decent and felt much more refreshed. Your hair is wet – fuck the nurse, you couldn't stand another minute of that tangled, sweaty mop on top of your head – and tied into a high ponytail. You have holes on your hand, on the inside of your elbows and even on your foot, like a baby, because the first nurse couldn't find a fucking vein (You're dehydrated sweetie. Your veins are shrunken.") until Alex threatened to start poking her with a needle too real soon if she didn't hurry the fuck up.

Your hero.

You are half lying, half sitting, on your left side, your aching ear on top of a hot pack with a towel on top. Red and Nicky were gone with promises to be back later before the end of visitation hours. Doctors had given you nice painkillers for your ear but you are feeling something moving and cracking inside. Suddenly, right as you open your mouth for another spoonful of Jell-O, you feel something dribbling out, on the towel.

When you raise your head to look at it, there's pus and blood in a huge puddle. For awhile you think you're going to die and that's your infected brain leaking out of your ear and when Alex presses the button to call the nurse she assures you it's simply the infection on your ear being drained out. Then she leaves with the tacky "Better out than in".

You figure that if Alex can see blood and pus coming out of your body without batting an eyelash and being promptly disgusted by it, you could work something out of this.


	9. Ruby Relaxer

Chapter 9: Ruby Relaxer

After Nicky came to your apartment to tell you Piper is sick, the next sequel of events is blurry in your mind. You grab your wallet and keys and barely remember to change from your sweatpants to jeans (and only because you lacked pockets to put your wallet, phone, keys.). Dimitri is waiting for you in the car. Red stayed with Piper.

When you get to Piper's apartment, Nick tells you she's left the door open and you just get inside. The place is immaculate as ever but too stuffy for your own liking, as if sickness has installed itself here. The air smells funny. You dash towards Piper's bedroom and at first, all you can see is a mountain of covers. Then a mop of blonde hair peeking out. Red is caressing said hair, whispering in Russian while she tries to wake Piper up.

As you approach the bed, you can see exactly how sick she is and it pains you that Nicky wasn't exaggerating. With a curse, you fall to your knees beside the bed, next to her head. "Piper, baby?"

Nicky is making herself useful by opening Piper's closet and making a bag for her. It seems unquestionable now that you are taking her to a hospital.

Piper moans and rubs her scorching face against your hand, whose thumb is now softly brushing her jaw back and forth. Her cheeks are fire red, and as she opens and closes her eyes, you can see they are unfocused and hazy. You slide your hand towards the back of her neck and pull her softly up in a futile attempt to wake her. A moan escapes her lips but that's it.

"You are not gonna wake her, Alex. Just grab her, blankets and all and we'll drive her to the hospital. She's so hot her brain is going to start leaking from her ears anytime soon."

Red says and gets up to help Nicky. You're happy for their support otherwise you think you'd just crumble like a house of cards. While Nicky and Red finish packing a bag for Piper you go to her bedroom to find some Tylenol. She chokes and spits but manages to swallow the pill and the water, lacking the strength to even raise her arms properly.

When you leave the building - Pipes still out of it and wrapped in your arms like a blonde, feverish, cute caterpillar, Nicky hurrying after you carrying the bag, you all get into Red's car and Dimitri barely waits until the doors are shut before pulling from the curb and into traffic screeching tires.

"What the hell is going on, Alex? You two were joined at the hip a month ago and now you go to Berlin, Piper drags herself around like someone killed her favorite pet and this?"

You start explaining the situation to Nicky and Red. Mostly because you need some sort of distraction from the immobile weight on your lap.

Piper moans and you stop talking to look down at your lap, thinking that maybe she's waking up. She says something about Google but her voice is terrible, so you can barely understand her ramblings. You shush her softly and she quiets, so you keep going.

"So she's 17? Ma, why didn't you tell me?" Nicky sends Red a dirty, offended look.

"It was none of your business."

Her no nonsense tone turns Nicky's attention to you again.

"I asked her for some time apart so I could think things over. I was going to call her tomorrow to talk when you showed up at my apartment telling me Piper was sick."

"You complicate things too much." Red says. It ruffles your feathers. Mostly because you were starting to consider that was really the case.

"Yeah, it's really complicated when you're dating a minor without even knowing about it. Excuse me for being mad because the choice was taken from me. The problem isn't Piper's age. It's the way she lied and manipulated me. I could go to jail for this and at least would like to have a choice about it."

"You're not going to jail. She's already 18. I know you didn't ask for my opinion Alex, but you've been friends with Nicky for a long time so I'll give you a piece of my mind and you'll let me."

Red's accent becomes thicker. You deflate like a balloon.

"When this girl came asking me for a job at the bar she was kind of broken. Sad. I could tell she had nice manners and came from a wealthy background but had no love. I didn't want to hire her at first and it was clear to me she didn't actually need the job for the money but for a whole lot of other reasons. And she was honest. She could have handed me fake papers but she told me her story and I made the decision to take her as one of my own as I did with all of you crazy kids."

Despite the newly sparked anger, you feel torn between crying and laughing at Red's words. You had missed Piper's birthday. You had missed her Graduation. The woman in your arms moves a little and feeling brokenhearted you pull her closer, pressing your burning eyes, closed tightly, against her hair.

"After almost two years I've never once regretted my decision. But I regret putting her in a position where she felt she had to protect me and that caused her pain. Alex, God knows I love you like my own and Diane knows I'll take care of you no matter what but I've never seen someone more heartbroken than this girl this past month. I don't know if it was just this situation between the two of you because a woman kept calling the bar asking for her. Said it was her father's assistant. I passed the message along but I doubt she even processed it. Anyway, I think her parents are two screwed up mudakí (motherfuckers) who are a fucking waste of oxygen, that's what. And I also think you made too much of it."

After that, she doesn't say anything else and you're left to ponder those thoughts.

"Well, I can sure tell you I'm surprised as hell. I'd never peg Chapman for a 17-year-old girl. She's more mature than me, Dimitri and Vasiri combined." Nicky breaks the silence.

"Doesn't take much, does it, kid?"

Red says and you snort, turning to look at Nicky's when she exclaims an offended "Oi!"

At that moment, Piper moves again. She's crying and your attention, your world, suddenly is all on her.

"Pipes?"

She's sobbing but sound never comes up and she's shaking her head like something inside is hurting. You pull her up higher on your lap so she's resting more comfortably against you; taking pleasure on being close to her.

"Shhh, babe… It's going to be ok, kid. I've got you now… Everything is going to be fine…"

Your arms tighten around her out of their own volition. It's so good to have her close. You'd almost forgotten how much you missed that petite body next to yours, the smell of her hair or the feel of skin. She's all bundled up, so you bet it's difficult for her to even move a finger. You don't know how she feels after those three weeks apart; you guess you'll talk about it when she has the proper treatment but still, you kiss the skin above her ear, raising it slightly to bury your nose in her hair.

She smells tangy and sweet at the same time, a mix of Aussie shampoo and sweat. She's still crying. Nicky is staring, looking very out of place, like she doesn't know what to do. It's heartbreaking to watch Piper like this; makes you realize you've never seen her cry this way before this day.

"Shhh, Pipes… No more crying, sweetie… I'm here…" You whisper in her ear, hopefully soothingly enough to calm her down and enough to calm you down as well, since you don't know the reason behind her tears and that's making you nervous. You think maybe she's in a lot of pain. How far is that damn hospital after all?

Eventually, her sobs stop and when she moves, trying to get more comfortable, you help her into a sitting position, still as close to you as you can, though. She looks around the car, confused. God, she is so adorable. Even with her pinkish fever face and the tangled hair.

"Alex, where are we going?" She asks, her voice raspy and sounding incredibly painful. Suddenly, you feel such relief, for having her here, for having a chance to work things out that you find yourself choked up by surprising tears. You don't want to make a fool of yourself or make Piper nervous so, instead, you bury your face on her neck to hide your imminent tears. Nicky is making jokes, threatening to kick Piper's ass. You know that half of it is the same relief you're feeling by knowing she's ok.

Your heart clenches when Piper mumbles she feels fine. Your head rises from her neck as you stare at her in disbelief. Actually, you snicker.

"Pipes, we've been trying to wake you up for almost an hour. You have a fever that doesn't go away and your voice sounds like crap. You were actually hallucinating a moment ago – some crap about Google – and you don't even know how to use the computer all that well. We're taking you to the hospital."

She turns a sickly shade of grey.

"Alex… I don't want to go." She sounds terrified and if you could you'd ask Dimitri to turn the car back around and take her home. It'd be really irresponsible of you. Nicky makes a joke about hospital camisoles but Piper's eyes are still huge as saucers, her complexion pale and clammy. You touch her chin to title her head up so she'll look into your eyes; you need to be able to see what's she's feeling.

"Hey… Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm afraid of hospitals. Since… since the clinic... I… God, my ear is killing me…"

She whimpers. You don't know it's from physical pain or pain from the memories and it kills you to not know. Your arms tighten around her as you pray never to have the displeasure of meeting anyone in Piper's family. You don't know if you'd be able to keep yourself from committing murder. So you lower your head again, arms tightening even more around her and start telling her about the time you cut your chin open when you were 4 years old.

You tell her how your mom got her clothes all bloodied cradling you on her lap, making you laugh even though your chin throbbed and you knew you'd have to get stitches because your mom never lied to you. Piper looks at you like she soaking up everything; it hits you suddenly how young she looks at that moment. Her eyes and huge and feverish, bluer than blue. The desire to protect her, to never let anything or anyone (including yourself) hurt her ever again is uncontrollable.

When you arrive at the hospital, you waste no time in bossing people around so Piper can be comfortable and rid of the pain as soon as possible. Nicky, Dimitri and Red stay at the front desk filling out papers as you follow a begrudged nurse towards an exam room.

You want to throttle the woman after 5 long minutes. They start by drawing blood and Piper is poked so many times you want to stick the damn syringe into Nurse William's left eyeball. But she looks worried and constricted so you forgive her a little. Piper is now a sickly shade of green and holding your hand as if it's what's keeping her grounded to the Earth.

She tells you she needs a shower and when another nurse shows up (not the nice Nurse William but another, mean looking one), you tell her that Piper is going to clean herself first, before the IV. The nurse looks at you like she's smelled something funny but you don't care; if Piper wants a shower, she's getting a damn shower. Nurse Grumpy mutters something about not letting Piper wash her hair and you nod and hope she can go fuck herself.

You help her get up from the bed and walk to the bathroom. She's still in pain, grimacing every time she takes a step. You maneuver her to the bathroom and sit her on the toilet lid, afraid she'll fall down and hit her head or something.

The back of her hands are starting to bruise from all the attempted IVs.

She looks too weak to even undress and feeling your heart the size of Texas and at the same time as small as a grain of rice, you grab the hem of her shirt and pull it up and off. When it comes off, though, you get an unpleasant surprise.

She must have lost 20 pounds during those weeks apart. Her soft curves are now all sharp edges; it breaks your fucking heart. Oblivious to your scrutinizing, Piper is now trying to push her pajama pants down her legs. You help by holding one of her arms so she can keep her balance. When she takes off the t-shirt you realize two things that help you feel worse than you are already feeling: She's wearing your Ariel shirt; you can see and outline every single bone in her torso. Ribs, collarbone, the delicate ridges of her spine. Now that you've noticed her body, you realize her face looks sunken too, eyes too big, sharp cheekbones.

When she showers, you are so distracted by the abrupt loss of weight that she washes her hair and you never notice. She takes the time to brush her teeth as well and when you finally get her back to bed and call Nurse Grumpy, she takes one look at Piper's wet hair and sends you a dirty look. You raise an eyebrow, daring her to say something but luckily, (for her) she keeps her mouth shut.

She starts setting Piper's IV. Suddenly, what is supposed to be a simple procedure turns into a session of torture. Nurse Grumpy pokes and prods Piper so many times, she's even greyer now than she'd been when she'd had her blood drawn. She makes a comment about Piper's vein having shrunk due to dehydration. You make a comment about sticking her with a needle in the eye next time she misses.

She hooks the damn IV.

Then she gives Piper painkillers which almost makes you not want to throttle her because your girl is now all sorts of relaxed.

A doctor comes 10 minutes later and starts talking about otitis, the beginning of pneumonia and laryngitis. Seems Pipes got herself a very nasty combo going on. She prescribes antibiotics that are promptly injected into Piper's IV and tells her to lay down with her ear on a hot pack to help soothe the pain. Unfortunately (for Piper), it seems hospitalization is the word of the day.

Nicky comes to bother you and makes true about trying to catch sight of Piper's ass from the opening of the camisole but leaves soon after, promising to come back later.

You feed Piper red Jell-O, taking silly pleasure on feeding her, making sure she's eating something. You vow to yourself that when you leave this damn hospital you'll spend all your waking hours feeding her until that awful sight of her prominent bones disappears.

She's opening her mouth for another spoonful of Jell-O when her expression turns to confusion as she raises her head. On the towel that's on top of the hot pack, a big stain of blood and pus that apparently are coming from her ear.

You press the button to call the nurse and make sure this is normal. Apparently, it's the infection coming out. She changes the hot pack and the towel and asks Piper to keep her ear pressed against it.

When the Jell-O is gone, Piper starts to look slightly nervous. Now that you have no distractions, it seems the big elephant in the room needs to be addressed. She is curled on her side, one hand cupping her cheek, the other resting on her hip. Her eyes are huge and blue, focused on your face.

"How are you feeling, baby?"

Piper shrugs.

"I'm ok… Pain is gone."

You raise a hand and touch her face because it's too difficult to see her looking so damn sad. The impression you have is that she's waiting for you to go away. Well, fuck it, she couldn't be more wrong. It doesn't mean you don't have a lot to talk about though.

"That's good. Let's talk for a minute?"

"Yeah… I mean… sure."

You brush your thumb against her jaw, not liking the way the bone is sticking out of her soft skin. You don't like the way her voice sounds either. It's not only the fact it sounds terrible and muted but it's the sadness in it.

"You lied to me."

Piper cringes.

"Look at me."

She does. You lick your lips, trying to put the words, in a jumble on your mind, into sentences that will make sense and not screw things up even worse.

"You know my mom raised me alone, right? Our whole relationship was based on trust so I guess I took this with me to my adulthood and to all the relationships I built after. Work, friendship, love. I hate being lied to. You should have told me the truth from the start and let me make a decision."

Piper nods and her eyes drop from yours. It pains to see she's crying, silently as if she doesn't want you to see it.

"I missed you every day I was in Berlin, kid. Every single day I wished I could talk to you, call you, show you the places I've been to. And after three weeks of thinking, I realized something."

You place a finger on her chin and tilt her head up so she can look into your eyes. Your thumb brushes the tears from her cheeks. Her face is still blushed from her fever, her eyes are moist and the tip of her nose is red. She's never looked more beautiful.

"I love you."


	10. Midori Sour

Chapter 10: Midori Sour

Your heart is being pulled up by thousands of balloons. When Alex says those three words you can't help but feel such wonder that you think perhaps you look foolish with your gobsmacked expression.

Alex has a loving expression on her face, but she also looks very serious.

"I don't say this to just anyone you know… You have to say it back."

You smile because the notion of not loving Alex back is ridiculous to you. She has to know. After everything, even if it was those short months, she had to know how much you love her. How much you can't see yourself with anyone but her. How much a part of your life she's become. But when you look into her eyes, you see a little bit of insecurity. So, she's right: you have to say it back.

"I love you too."

She cups your jaw and presses a tender kiss to your lips. After three weeks, such a chaste kiss is not nearly enough but you don't complain, still feeling out of sorts and not knowing where you stand. In your experience, "I love yous" can mean the world but also not much.

"Good. Now that we have that settled, I need to talk to you about two things: Piper, don't lie to me again. Do you understand? I really do love you but trust is very important to me and I really need to feel as if we are being completely honest with each other. I promise you, here and now that you can come talk to me about anything. Even if I'm mad, even if I'm hurt, we'll talk. But don't lie to me."

You close your eyes, nodding slowly.

"Second is… Red told me your father's assistant was calling the bar to talk to you. She called the house the day I left."

You blanche.

"Yeah, well… I talked to her like two days after… after you left."

You didn't want to be reminded of the fact your mother was dead and you didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. If not for love at least to have some kind of closure. Alex look at you, the question in her eyes. You just feel so tired…

"Well? Was it something important? I worried your Dad was harassing you."

You frown. Your eyes are averted as you focus on the cannula running from your nose to the oxygen tank next to you. Doctor said it would give your lungs a break. You wish you could have a break too.

"My father asked his assistant to call me and tell me my mother is dead."

Alex shock is so great she actually jumps from her chair. You raise your head to look at her just in time to be engulfed in her arms. "Piper, baby… I'm so, so, so sorry…"

Your eyes tear up and you swallow the lump closing your already abused throat. You feel guilty for NOT feeling enough about the death of the woman who was supposed to mean the world to you. You also feel sad that your mother had so little importance in your life.

"Alex, I'm ok."

Alex raises her head from your neck and looks at you with disbelief in her face. Even without meaning to she makes you feel worse about the lack of feelings.

"Piper, I know that's not true. She was your mother."

You sigh. The cannula helps but it's difficult to speak because you keep coughing all the time. But it's IMPERATIVE to make her understand where you're coming from.

"Alex. You are very lucky. To have Diane as a mother, to have been so close to her growing up, to have her love you so much and so deeply. I don't mean that as a reprimand or as a bad thing, please, don't take it the wrong way. I mean as a starting place for you to understand me. Yes?"

You wait until Alex nods, your thumb now brushing the back of her hand on a steady rhythm, the repetitive motion helping you set your thoughts in order, throwing you into an almost daze.

"That being said, I want you to realize that I had exactly the opposite. Our house was perfect. Everything inside was perfect but not in a good way. The decoration, the staff, our clothes, our education, the way we looked. I had everything money could buy. Except love. Everything HAD to be perfect. My parents wouldn't allow anything different. My weight, for example, was carefully measured. Each month a doctor would come to the house and measure my body. Once, he told my mom I had gained 2 pounds. She starved me for weeks until I lost 4. My brothers were pretty much left alone. They were younger and also boys. Rich boys. Narcissistic, stupid boys that did nothing to help me. I had my whole days occupied with all sorts of lessons. I can speak fluent Portuguese because my father once had a notion he'd marry me to the son of one of his business associates. Guy was rich as Midas, Brazilian and lucky for me, shared none of my father ill conceptions about raising kids. His son, Leonardo was gayer than both you and I combined. Sweetest damn person on earth. By the time I was 12, I could play the piano, plan a party for 300 people without batting an eye and cook 3 course meals. I slaved for my parents' attention. I did everything they asked me to. In return I got nothing but frustration. Love is something Chapmans don't have to give. It took me awhile to realize that. Lots of tears, lots of angst, lots of nights I'd go to bed thinking that it would be better to just end it once for all."

You don't feel Alex's hand on your hair or hear her gasp or her murmurs of encouragement. Once again, you are trapped deep inside your mind, opening yourself at the seams in a way that you had never done before. The effort is painful and numb-minding and even though it hurts, you want Alex to see the whole you. If she decides you are too much trouble and she is through with you, that's fine. Other than that, you are going to give her the whole damn picture if it kills you.

"The best moments of my life were when I was at school. I had such nice teachers. I didn't have many friends, a lot of them were aware of how my family conducted its business and didn't really want to be associated with me. So I was really lonely. I didn't have one of those maids you see in movies that are always nice and take care of the neglected children and everything is ok. Maids at my house were bitches who followed every one of my mother's crazy, narcissistic desires. And then Stella came into my life. She took one look at me and decided to befriend me. Don't ask me why, to this day I don't know. We were attached at the hip. At school, any free time I could manage to squeeze between endless chores was for her. She helped me socialize better. I started getting close to people. She listened. I never said much because I felt so tired all the time. But she listened. She helped me, slowly to stand up for my mother. Small things that build up my confidence and self-esteem. On my 15th birthday, she took me to a party. It was at a gay place and I was mesmerized. I felt free. I felt… important. Someone cared enough to want to be with me, you know? She was also deeply loyal. Until the end, when things got really bad, Stella was really loyal. The countless times we were at my house and my father raised his hand to strike me and she threw herself between us, shouting bloody-murder at him, threatening to get him in jail. He was secretly terrified of her because he knew she meant every single word. When he…"

Your voice breaks. Suddenly, your memories throw you back 2 years ago and you cringe. Going through these memories is like one of those dreams you had sometimes where you felt someone coming after you but when you started to run everything was in slow motion.

"When he had me committed, my mother did absolutely nothing to help me. Instead, she aided him with every sick, twisted desire and plot he came up with. She wasn't loving, she wasn't friendly, she…"

Your lips are dry. Alex reads your mind as she helps you sip the fresh water from a paper cup.

"She was a stranger. A person I hated for a long time but still felt I needed to please. I yearned for love. When I left home and Stella and I moved in together I felt free. I had a family now. People I could call my own. But we were also too young, too inexperienced. I gave too much, I didn't know how to deal with simple, relationship things that people dealt with all the time. I have no filter. I don't say what I don't mean, I never lied. I asked and demanded a lot from her, she was so possessive she suffocated me. I wanted to graduate, be someone. Stella wanted to enjoy life. We fought. A lot. We hurt each other. A lot. We broke up and got back together three times. But she knew me. It wasn't healthy but at the time I felt like I'd die if I ever lost her. It took me awhile to realize I was, am my own person and Stella was just there for the ride. But truth is, she was a big part of my life. She taught me to drive. We shared bills, plans, a life. When we broke up, when she hit me I was angry, yes, but I was truly disappointed. Because the Stella I met, right at the beginning, when I was 14 would never raise a hand to me. That's when I realized we were toxic together. That's when I realized it wasn't love. It had become an obsession. I had transferred this need to please from my parents to my relationship. I'm sorry my mother is dead. I feel guilty for not feeling more but I can't help it. I'm tired of trying to feel things I don't just because someone says I have to."

Alex's hand is on your hair, soothing and reassuring.

You see, Alex, I've always had this notion that love is supposed to feel like coming home after a long trip. Like coming home. I've never really felt that until I met you. We haven't been together long but every time I look at you, I see a whole new world, waiting for us to build and mold. I see a happiness I've never thought I'd experience. I see love. I see respect. I'm truly sorry I lied. But it's hard to see your whole life into someone else's eyes and having to decide if you'll do something that could cause it to crumble to pieces or just keep it to yourself and hope everything gets settled in time. You are everything I pay attention to, who I pay attention to. Everything else is just background noise."

You deflate like an empty balloon. Out of words and dry of feelings. Alex is staring at you in stunned disbelief and you blush under her scrutiny. It's difficult having the patience to wait for what she had to say after your whole speech.

"I truly adore you, Piper Chapman. If I get arrested I'll be pretty pissed but truth is… I love you. I'm older than you and I've never, in my entire life felt such a sense of completeness. I look at you and I picture how your face is going to look like 20 years from now, about every time I'll be able to make you laugh and the ones I'll hate because I'll make you cry. I think about everything we'll be able to live together. I can't live without you, Piper. I can't imagine not having you close, not knowing about you or having a part of my life illuminated by your smile. I need to love you, to keep loving you. I'll keep fighting for you, for us, because you deserve it. I deserve you."

You sob. Alex holds you while you cry and shushes you. For you it's cathartic. Your body is letting go of all the darkness and opening up to welcome a new beginning, love, a new future.

"Hey kid… Was that so bad you have to cry?"

She jokes but her voice is also choked up. It was difficult to not feel emotional when you could physically feel your world being tilted into its axis.

"It was horrible." You sniffle. Alex laughs.

"Alex, promise me something."

"Sure, baby."

"No more Stella, no more drama, no more. Let's be happy. I've been waiting my whole life for you. I've been waiting my whole life to love you."

Alex's smile is bigger than the sun.

"I promise kid."


	11. Snake Bite

Alex spends every waking hour by your side. The next day of your admission, they are still cautious about your left lung. Apparently, the infection wasn't declining as they'd hoped it would. So that meant more time in the hospital for you.

They moved you to a more permanent and fancier room and it was almost ok. You are now sitting on a really comfortable bed, reading a new book and trying to distract yourself. Alex went home to shower and grab clean clothes since the bag that was packed was only for you.

You are halfway through a page when Nicky bursts in your room like the hurricane she is, her signature crazy hair flying, mouth twisted in a stupid grin. She's carrying a huge, humongous bear and you immediately fall in love with it. It's silly stupid; a chagrined expression on his face. His left arm is in a cast, his right ear has stitches and he is holding a heart that says: I do hope you feel 'beartter'.

"Hey Nicky!"

"Hey, Chapman! I know Vause went home so I brought my charming self to visit you."

She grins at you and you can't help but grin back.

"I wanted to buy you something useful like a vibrator but they don't sell this here, so I thought I'd bring you this charming fella here to keep you company when Vause has to take a leak or something."

She hands you the bear and you chuckle, holding it close to your chest. You missed hanging out with Nicky at the bar, talking about everything and nothing at all and just being silly. Even though you haven't allowed her to get too close to you, somehow she has become one of the closest ones.

"It's as cute as you, Nicky, thanks."

"Pfff, I am not cute, Taylor Swift. I'm just charming as hell." She gives you one of her patented smirks.

You're about to say something funny back when a knock on the door turns your and Nicky's attention to the door. A cute brunette sticks her head inside with a smile on her face and you swear you can see Nicky's eyes turning cartoonish, popping out of her face as hearts thump out of her chest.

"Wow…"

The cute brunette comes inside and you can see it's a nurse. You immediately tense up, thinking of needles.

"Hey, Piper. I'm Lorna Morelo. Andrea's shift has ended and I'm going to be your nurse from now on. Is there anything you need?"

She's awfully sweet with her strong Boston accent, but you can't help feeling terrified. There's a small tub in her hands, filled with dangerous hospital apparatus, all of which were probably going to be used on you. You flinch.

"I'm sorry, it's just that… I've had some really bad experiences with hospitals. They used to hold me down… and… well, I don't like needles…"

Lorna approaches the bed and places a hand on your arm, rubbing up and down.

"I'm just going to draw some blood and check your vitals, okay? I promise I'll be as gentle and as fast as I can and it'll be over before you notice. I think it'll help if you keep talking to me."

She turns to Nicky.

"Are you her girlfriend? I think she'd feel safer if you held her hand."

Nicky looks gobsmacked. Her mouth is opened as she stares at the nurse, resembling a bushy haired, blondish trout. You laugh.

"Nope, she's not my girlfriend, she's a friend. My girlfriend is coming later."

Lorna nods at you, cocking her head at Nicky who is still staring at her as if she's seeing a ghost.

"Is there something on my face?" She runs a hand on said part of body. Nicky laughs nervously. You watch them like a soap opera. Lorna is quick to realize you're distracted by their interaction so she takes your left arm, ties the elastic band around your forearm and swabs the inside of your elbow.

"No, I'm just… You're so beautiful." Lorna opens a big smile, her red tinted lips widening prettily. It's incredibly weird to see your eloquent friend so tongue tied out of the sudden. Lorna looks down at your arm but you keep your gaze on Nicky, who is staring at you with a panicked expression.

"Thank you. You're very beautiful yourself, Ms…"

"Nicky…hmmm… Just Nicky."

"You're very beautiful too. And single by any chance as well as beautiful, Nicky?"

You snort. Apparently, Nicky found someone who was even more straightforward than her.

"Yeah… I mean… single. I am… single, that is."

"That's good. Perhaps you should ask me out then?"

Nicky nods dumbly and you laugh out loud. There's a tiny part of you that's rejoicing in seeing your friend so uncomfortable when she's usually so self-confident. You feel a small pinch on the inside of your elbow, you flinch a little but your attention is still on Nicky's gob smacked face.

"Nicky, you're starting to look like a fish."

Lorna winks at you.

"That's done. I'm just going to check your vitals now."

You stare at her and then down at your arm. She places a tiny round band-aid on the inside of your elbow and you realize she took three vials of blood and you've barely felt a thing, distracted by her and Nicky's shenanigans. The smile that appears on your face is grateful and she gives you one back as Nicky and her start talking back and forth about silly things.

Apparently, she got her tongue untied and her mojo back. Lorna is laughing about something silly Nicky said when the door to the room opens again and Alex comes in, carrying a bag that smells wonderfully delicious.

Your heart immediately does a somersault, silly little thing. You are so in love with her that sometimes it physically hurts. Everything around you fades to a background blur and your single focus is Alex.

"It looks like you're having fun!"

She approaches the bed and gives you a kiss, nose brushing yours softly.

"And you've got yourself a new friend. Should I be jealous?" Alex touches the bear's ear, smiling.

"Nicky brought him. You should be very jealous because I'm seriously considering dropping you for him."

"Hmmm… I didn't know you liked them furry, babe…"

You choke out a laugh and she noses your hair.

"Awww, so THIS is the girlfriend… You two look too adorable together."

Alex titles her head at Lorna with a bewildered expression on her face, sticking her hand out. Lorna takes off her gloves and shakes.

"I'm Lorna Morello. Pleasure to meet you."

"Alex Vause. You're Piper's nurse?" Lorna nods, gathering her utensils.

"She is incredible, Alex. Very gentle hands."

"Nice hands, huh?" She offers you a bright smile then turns towards Lorna.

"Thanks a lot for this, Lorna."

"I was just doing my job, Alex, it's no problem. Piper was very sweet AND I think I may get a date with a very interesting woman out of it so it was totally worth it."

Alex looked a little confused, until Nicky smirked, at which she laughed knowingly.

That afternoon, Lorna comes back two more times with your medicine and the doctor shows up once to tell you she is probably going to release you the day after, if your lung continues to improve.

Visiting hours are almost over and Alex is on food run, since you're pretty sick of tasteless food and pudding. Someone knocks on your door. You are reading a very entertaining book about a tattoo artist and a girl with a rocky past so when you look up you're very distracted. You blink once as you realize Polly and Larry are standing there, kind of sheepishly. Polly has her arms around a bunch of flowers and Larry is carrying balloons, and you are suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Polly, Larry… Hi."

You close your book after making an ear on the top of the page you're in before placing it on your lap. Polly and Larry approach your bed and your treacherous lung chooses that moment to fail you and you start coughing.

It's raspy and uncomfortable; sounds as if you're an old woman who has smoked for all her life.

"S-sorry. Comes and goes."

Larry looks flustered. You grab the glass of water that Polly is handing you and drain it, feeling parched. The other girl is staring at you like you've just grown another head making you remember why it's so difficult for you to make friends at school.

You actually can't remember why Polly has befriended you and developed such an interest in your absent, closed-off self. You hang around at school but you've never shared anything with her. She doesn't even know you're emancipated or that you haven't seen your parents for as long as you've been at that school.

And Larry. What the fuck? He asked you out once, you wiggled your way out of the situation without giving him an answer and now he follows you around like a puppy. Polly was always trying to get you to go out, ever since she started a fling with Peter and Larry and him were quarterback buddies. He couldn't be less appealing if he tried actually. You hated his conceited ass. He reminds you too much of home and some of the guys your parents tried to pair you with.

"We were expecting your for graduation but Ms. Edwards told us you've been sick. We thought we'd come and visit. Right Larry?"

Larry gives a wolfish grin that creeps you out and nods. You have no idea how Ms. Edwards even knew you're sick in the first place.

You try to give them a little smile and start picking at the tape holding your IV in place.

"Thanks a lot, Polly. How was the party?"

Polly went on telling you about school's gossip and shenanigans and meanwhile Larry is now sitting pretty close to you, having placed the flowers on a glass vase that sat on a table on the corner of the room and the balloons somewhere close to your head.

She starts telling you about how Peter had asked her to prom when suddenly Larry clears his throat.

"So, Piper… About Prom… I was wondering… Well, I was wondering if since you missed the party, would you like to go out with me?"

His puppy eyes are soft and expectant. You open your mouth to answer and nothing comes out but a wheeze. Coughs rack you again and even if they are uncomfortable as hell you're grateful they've just prevented you from answering. Larry rubs your back softly, whispering some nonsense you can't understand very close to your ear and you really just want him to stop touching you. You try moving out of reach but coughing seeps all your energy and there's not enough space in your bed to really back off from him.

"Baby, they were out of Kani so I couldn't get your Sunomono but I brought a sea worth of sashimi…"

Alex comes in looking down at the bags on her hands and freezes when she looks up and catches sight of the scene before her.

"What the fuck?"

You're still wheezing and trying to catch your breath. Unfortunately, Larry is still rubbing your fucking back like the movement is going to unlock your lungs out of sheer will.

"Who are you?" Polly asks, sending Alex a dirty look. You are still trying to move away from Larry's grabby hands and coughing so you miss pieces of the interaction but suddenly Larry's hands are off you, replaced by Alex's much calmer ones. She raises your chin and stares into your eyes, one hand moving to the button next to your bed to call a nurse.

"Baby, breathe deeply for me, yeah? If you don't breathe you'll pass out and we don't want that. Go ahead, deep breaths."

You try matching her breathing through the coughing but it's like your lung is sunken. White spots cloud your vision and you catch a glimpse of Lorna bursting into the room before passing out.

When you come to, all you can hear is Alex's angry voice and Polly's shrieking one. Someone is touching your arm softly, something stings the back of your hand and you open your eyes with a grimace.

"What…?" Your voice is muffled by the oxygen mask that's now on your face. Lorna's face appears on your line of sight with a smile. Alex's frowny one comes after followed by Polly's and Larry's. Goddamnit WHY are they still here? One would think that passing out was a good way of letting people know it was time to go.

"Kid, you scared the shit out of me!" Alex brushes a kiss on your hair.

Lorna is still doing something to your left hand and you let out a loud ouch when she reinserts the IV.

"Sorry, honey. You pulled your IV out."

Crap. Goddamn Larry and goddamn Polly. What a bothersome. Alex was running her lithe fingers through your hair and your classmates are giving you the weirdest looks.

"Piper, what the hell is going on?" Polly crosses her arms and frowns.

You lick your lips and get rid of the oxygen mask, trying to breathe slowly to avoid another panic attack.

"Polly, this is Alex, my girlfriend. Alex, this is Polly, she's a friend from school."

Polly's chin is somewhere on the vicinity of her belly button now. Larry, a silent presence until now, gives you a weird laugh.

"That's why you've been avoiding and doesn't want to go out with me. Because you're a lesbo?"

You send him a dirty look and Alex titles her head down to stare at him above the rim of her glasses.

"Excuse me?"

Polly stills stares dumbfounded, which makes you want to just slap her senseless.

"No, Larry. I actually refused your invitation before meeting Alex. I know it's a bit of a shock but I actually don't like you. You're conceited and mostly a big pussy. And to top it off I'm beginning to think you're also a big fat homophobe."

You watch as his face starts to get a nasty tone of red. His ears and neck are tinted, eyes bulging and angry. Alex laughs, green eyes mocking.

"Piper, that wasn't nice!"

Seems Polly has found her voice. You sigh, rubbing your aching eyes.

"Polly, look. I'm sorry. I like you but… we are very different."

She sends you a dirty look, mutters a very angry "obviously" and then drags a sputtering Larry out the door. You are very glad that part of your life is over; you can't move on.

"Gonna tell me what was that all about?"

Lorna is still checking your vitals, hands soft against your skin.

"Damn girl from my school and the boy she's been trying to hook me up with. One of those damn clichés I hate so much. She's a cheerleader with a quarterback boyfriend and Larry is Pete's friend so she has a crazy notion it would be fun to "double date". He asked me out, can you believe it?"

Your face is tinged red from outrage and it doesn't help you that Alex is smirking at you as if she's finding your predicament funny somehow.

"I've forgotten how much drama High School has. So, a date, huh?"

You roll your eyes at her.

"I don't fit in that school, never did. They bored me out of my mind. I may be eighteen but we are worlds apart. Poly talks about third base with Pete and I think about you and all the different ways we've fucked. They talk about curfews and I think about my shifts at Red's. I mean… They have classes about how to manage our money and bake cakes and I'm already paying bills and living on my own since I was fifteen. I have nothing to talk to this people about, no common ground. I saw Larry talking to this sweet boy from my English class about this club he was going with his parents at the weekend; his dad had a business meeting there and he was bragging about it to this kid whose mom is a maid that works her ass off to try to give her son a better life than hers. He's not even friends with him but he needed to feel important, see what I mean? And the funny thing about it is that I've been a member since the day I was born. I still am. He was very embarrassed when I told him that and that as a visitor, he would have limited access to the club."

Alex grins. "I can only imagine the look on the poor kid's face. Please, tell me you showed him your membership card."

You can't help but smile as well even with all your frustration.

"I did. It's gold."

You could definitely say that Alex was an incredible room companion. She played cards with you, she read to you, she cuddled you, she pampered you. And you soaked up the love like a sponge, not used to feeling so relished. At some point during the day you get an email from Stella asking for forgiveness, saying she was going back to Australia with her brother and wishing you and Alex a lot of happiness.

It feels like a nice closure to a very fucked up situation. The doctor releases you from the hospital on the next day and despite the hospital being downright amazing you are definitely ready to go home. You have to keep taking the antibiotics for another week and it's still hard to do strenuous activities because you start to feel out of breath.

Alex takes you to her apartment, even under your feeble protests and the first thing you do is take a long, very hot shower, letting the water fall on your aching back. Your lungs feel achy and rusted. You have to do inhalations and take a lot of pills until you're finally done with this pneumonia crap. Alex is filling out your prescription and getting some clothes from your apartment and by the time you're out of the shower you feel so sapped of energy that you just crawl into bed, under the covers, butt naked and fall asleep.

Piper's prescription is easy enough to fill and after quickly packing a bigger bag for her from her apartment, you head home, hoping she's feeling well enough to go to the place on the corner of your street that has an amazing onion soup, served with hot, homemade bread.

When you get home though, the apartment is dark and quiet.

"Piper?" Your voice echoes through the rooms and for a moment you wonder if she left. Your heart goes to your throat and you rush to the bedroom, halting to a stop when you catch sight of her naked form on top of your bed. She's belly up, her perky tits rising up and down as she breathes; her nipples are rosy and tightened against the somewhat chilly air. One arm is thrown above her head and the other resting on your side of the bed, palm up. Her legs are making a four and your eyes can't help but stray to the apex between her thighs.

She's pink and soft there; like a Pavlov dog, you immediately feel the taste of her on your tongue, as if you've just went down on her, licking the moisture from her skin, her thighs. You can ever hear the sighs and moans with such clarity that you're wet in seconds. It's been too long.

You walk towards the bed slowly, remembering she has a nasty case of pneumonia, has just left the hospital as shouldn't even be naked, let alone doing all the things you are picturing doing to her in your head. The duvet is somewhere on the foot of the bed which tells you she was covered at some point and kicked it off as her temperature rose, like she always does.

You gather it up and throw it over Piper's naked body again while you search for one of your T-shirts to dress her in. You choose the one that has Linus sucking his thumb and hugging his blanket because it's warm and long-sleeved and a personal favorite since Linus is your second favorite character from Charlie Brown cartoon.

You sit on the bed next to Piper's head and brush your fingers through her blonde locks. They now fall in soft waves, like a halo around her head. You remembered how tangled and dead it felt two days ago when you found her feverish and sick on her bed. Her cheeks are flushed and you run your fingers through her brow to check her temperature. Her body is all sharp angles and curves which makes something in your belly twist and turn. For the first time since you went away you could study her without interruptions. She's lost a lot of weight in very little time and it pained you to know she suffered. Maybe you should've been more understanding and just… handled things differently. But it was no use thinking about it now. You're just glad it's over and done and you two are in very good terms now.

She kicks the duvet off again which makes you smile. Her head turns toward you and you take your sweet time admiring her features, t-shirt still clasped on your lap. Her eyelashes brush the high curve of her pink cheeks and move softly as she dreams with her lips are slightly opened, the air rushing in and out of them with a little wheezing noise, like a kettle. Her breathing still concerns you a little, the space between her ribcage sinks awfully low every time she draws breath so you make a mental note to keep close attention to this and take her back to the hospital (kicking and screaming if you have to) if this doesn't get better. There's no way you're neglecting her again.


	12. Rabo-de-gato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Obviously I know shit about doctors and doctor's procedures and diseases. Everything here is a product of research and my mind. Sorry if there's any inaccurate information. :)
> 
> As usual, thank you all adorable readers for your incredible feedback. I read each and everyone and they all make my day extra happy. Sorry for making this chapter a little shorter but I had to keep the cliffhanger. :) Muahahahahaha.

Chapter 12: Rabo-de-gato

Your insistent coughing wakes you up. Lungs aching, throat burning. You've been home for two weeks and you feared the medicine wasn't working so well anymore. You never share this with Alex because 1) you don't want to worry her and 2) because you really, really don't want to go back to the hospital.

A stabbing pain in your chest makes you bend over and breathing is nearly impossible now. Your hands grasp the space next to you but the sheets are cold. The cough stops a little but your breathing is still a wheezing, painful movement that makes you hold both hands to your chest as you feel your lungs are about to burst out of your torso.

Alex enters the bedroom and you barely see her silhouette before falling back on the pillows, fatigued. It's the worst feeling of your life, this miserable condition you find yourself in. You're sweating but cold at the same time.

"Pipes? Kid? What's going on? Your lips are blue."

You wheeze, trying to say her name that ends up in breathless syllables. "A" (wheeze) "Lexssss" (wheeze, cough).

She places both hands on your cheeks, her frowning face a mask of worry. "God, you're burning up!" Alex tries to take your temperature but you can't keep your mouth closed. She places the thermometer under your left arm and with a muttered "We're going to the hospital." she rushes to call Nicky.

The next 30 minutes are shady in your mind. Alex dresses you into something more appropriate and walk back and forth around the apartment grabbing things and throwing them in a bag. You have a 103°F fever. Alex shoves an Advil down your throat and despite your protests, carries you downstairs and into Nicky's car and off to the hospital again you go. Like an annoying deja vu.

Piper's breathing is horrible and every time she wheezes you get even more nervous. Her cheeks are two Snow White apples and her eyes are huge on her face, glossy and feverish. Something went very wrong on these last few days and you couldn't fathom what had happened.

The trip to the hospital is relatively fast but every minute feels like a never ending eternity to you. Piper has a death grip on your hand and like last time rides on your lap. She still looks too small and thin and it seems like those days weren't enough for you to put some weight back into her. You tried everything you could, but the disease made her hunger disappear and every meal was a battle.

Piper was eating like a bird and you were freaking out. After explaining the situation to your mother you took a leave from the company because you couldn't imagine going to work and leaving Piper alone in the apartment. She was also on medical leave from the bar and apologized profusely to Red every time the older woman went to the apartment with Nicky to visit.

The antibiotics had worked for her ear infection but her coughing was getting worse. Dry and painful, sometimes you found Piper grabbing her chest as if it was going to split open. Her legs and abdomen seemed a little swollen when you two went to bed. You think cancer. You think she is bleeding from the inside. You think there's something wrong with her lungs and she's drowning like you saw on a documentary on Discovery Home and Health once.

The hospital is quiet and you arrive raising hell, like you did last time. This time she's admitted a lot faster because her lips are blue and she already has a file. The doctor that treats her is nice. A calm, young doctor with chocolate skin and hazel eyes. Her smile is quick and reassuring but the pit in your stomach doesn't go away. Piper is freaked out and calls your name when they move her into the exam room. The doctor, Mirna, listens to her lungs and frowns, moving the end of the stethoscope over different parts of her chest and back.

Piper's breathing is difficult and she keeps closing her eyes as if fatigued. "Piper, are you feeling tired?" The doctor places the stethoscope around her neck, already making notes on Piper's file using her Ipad. She nods. Mirna asks more questions, this time to you since Piper can't really answer due to her breathing situation. (Is she eating well? Pain in her chest when coughing? Dry cough? Sweating?)

Prognosis is not good. Apparently Piper's pneumonia has developed into bacterial pericarditis. She'd have to do several exams and Dr. Mirna is concerned about fluid around her heart or in her lungs. If that's the case she'd probably need surgery. By that point you just wanted to rip your hair out by the tuffs. She needs treatment fast otherwise complications could cause heart failure.

Fear is an angry monster deep inside you. You've never seen anyone you loved in this situation and it seems like Piper is fading right before your eyes. She seems out of it, her breathing so difficult she can't barely move on the bed. The nurse hooks and IV and she doesn't even flinch, eyes dazed and focused on the ceiling while she fights to breathe. A mixture of several medicines is prescribed, including more antibiotics, painkillers, corticosteroids and diuretics. They place a catheter because she has to be on bed rest as much as possible now. Her head is slightly elevated to reduce the strain in her heart.

You go update Nicky while they wheel her up to have a CT scan. Breaking down is inevitable and you're glad you didn't do it in front of Piper, even if you think she'd barely notice it. Nicky hugs you and shushes you and tells you everything is gonna be ok but her eyes are scared too. Witnessing someone not being able to breathe is the worst thing in life. The way her chest caves in the worst way with the effort of drawing oxygen and the panic in her eyes was terrible to see.

Waiting for her to come back from the exams is an exercise for your patience and you try to make time run faster by getting her clothes out of the bag and making her room ready for when she comes back. Luckily, is the same one she had before so you know your way around it. You also message your mom and tell Nicky to go home and get some rest. She won't be able to do much now.

Piper comes back two hours laters, asleep and with the cannula around her nose. Her lips are back to pink now and her fever is down but although a little better, her breathing is still a little impaired. CT, MRI and X-ray confirmed fluid around her pericardium. Dr. Mirna is waiting for the blood tests but tells you they'll need to insert a catheter to drain the fluid, surgically.

She doesn't wake up when they prep her for surgery and you have that awful pit-feeling inside your chest that maybe you won't see her again. When they move her to the OR, you feel like a piece of you is on that bed with her and you pray. God was not a common entity in your life but you pray. You pray to have more time with her. You pray for her to be back to her bubbly, happy self again. You pray not to have to say goodbye. You pray.


	13. Savoy Corpse Reviver

A/N:

Savoy Corpse Reviver

Type

Cocktail

Primary alcohol by volume

Brandy

Served

Straight up; without ice

Commonly used ingredients

1 part Brandy

1 part Fernet Branca

1 part White Crème de menthe

Preparation

Shake ingredients together with ice, and strain into a glass.

Baby I've been here before

I know this room, I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I've seen your flag on the march arch

When Piper comes back from surgery she's still out like a light. The lung specialist - a tall, dark man this time - talks to you about the procedure and what's probably going to happen from this point on.

A chest tube was inserted to drain the fluid, in the side of her body. Stitches were placed to hold the tube and a bandage is covering the area. According to the doctor, it'll probably be a couple of days before they can remove it. They'll biopsy the liquid to check for anomalies and she should recover well, barring any complications.

You're nervous and anxious. You want Piper to wake up and smile at you so you know she's ok. You're waiting for permission to see her when your phone rings. It's mom.

"Alex?"

"Hi, mom." It's as far as you can go before you start weeping. Diane soothes you softly from the other end of the line, her voice calm and melodic as she prompts you gently to talk about what's happening.

You haven't managed to introduce Piper to her yet but you talk about the girl so much your mom feels like she already knows her. Diane tells you she'll come to the hospital to be with you and despite wanting to tell her not to; you don't want to be a nuisance, you end up telling her to come.

After half an hour they let you in to see Piper. She's hooked to tubes and machines. The tube down her throat was taken off because the doctor said she was breathing on her own. They left a mask because although she is breathing on her own it is still a little labored, so they wanted to give her abused lungs a rest. They'll run some more tests in a couple hours and if her oxygen levels are back to normal she'll go back to the cannula.

Her face is turned towards you, one hand resting on her stomach on the side that has the tube and the other on the bed, fingers slightly curved. You take note of every single patch of skin and every nuance of her body. You notice she's too thin. Thinner than last time you were at the hospital. The medical bracelet hangs on her wrist and you stare at the letters, eyes watering.

Never in your life you felt this level of hopelessness. You want to take her in your arms and back to your bed. You want to take her to dinner, to make love, you wanna sit on the couch under a pile of blankets and watch horror movies. You want to adopt a dog and name it something silly like Bacon. You want babies with her cute smile and back dimples.

You want to hear her laugh and watch her eat in that careful way she has. Each bite carefully planned and measured. You watch her face; perfect eyebrows, eyelashes brushing her too high cheekbones. Her fairy nose and thin lips, glossed with the vaseline the nurse rubbed on them so they won't get chipped from the lack of lubrication.

You sit on her bed, needing to be closer than the chair. Her hand is cold when you grab it, extra carefully because of the drain on her side and the IV hooked to her hand. Her poor abused hand, already turning purple around the needle.

As the minutes pass, you keep yourself sane by telling her every single thing in her that made you fall in love. For example how whenever you go to sleep, Piper has to lay on her belly and swing her right foot back and forth as she literally lulls herself to sleep. She's told you she'd been doing that since she was a baby.

Or how she hated chicken.

Or the way she could read super fast and you kept asking her questions to see if she'd actually read it or was just running her eyes over the pages.

How she can move her nose like the Bewitched and looks like a cute bunny.

Her laugh and how for someone so bruised she's so free with it. You tease her because she laughs at those silly internet memes online.

Her love for TV series and the way she ships some couples and roots for them like they really exist.

How she can be a little snotty but completely dorky at the same time.

The way every single time she listens to a song you can tell how she's feeling. Her emotions are deeply connected to music.

You love how she's an insanely good cook who makes the best lava cakes you've ever tasted.

How amazingly sexy she is without even realizing.

The birthmark above her left nipple.

The way she tastes after her first morning coffee.

There's so much you haven't discovered about her. There's so much you want to know. Your voice breaks and you lower your forehead against hers, desperate to feel her in anyway you can.

"Ouch…"

Her voice is awful and her face is contorted in pain but when you raise your head from hers you have a huge smile on, despite your watering eyes. She pulls her mask down and moves a little to get comfortable.

"Pipes! Hi, kid."

"Hi…" She smiles with her whole face: eyes, mouth, nose. Your heart squeezes when you think she must be in pain but still smiles at the sight of you.

"How are you feeling? You scared the shit out of me, babe." You drop your forehead to hers, cupping your hand over her jaw and ear. Your lips nibble the sweet-smelling skin above her eyebrow, relieved to find it cool to the touch.

"I..am...sorry…" She's having a hard time speaking, so you push the mask back to her face. "Stop talking. You can barely breathe." Stubbornly she pushes the mask back from her face and roll her eyes at you.

"Cannot… believe…every time… I'm back here… I have… more needles in me."

You laugh and cry at the same time. Her lips taste like medicine when you kiss her before pushing the mask back to her face.

"Shhh… Doctor said you have to rest your lungs."

Piper re-rolls her eyes at you again but leaves the mask in place and just stares at you.

"How are you feeling?"

You ask softly, brushing a lock of perfect blond, pink hair from her face. Before she can answer, though, there's a knock on the door and your mom sticks her head inside, a cute stuffed duckling on her arms.

"Hey, baby… Hope I'm not interrupting."

Your face lights up like a Christmas Tree and Piper smiles shyly at your mom as she approaches her bed.

"Hey, Piper. I've heard so much about you. I'm sorry we're meeting like this but it's a pleasure to meet the woman who makes my Alex so happy."

Your sweet, sweet girlfriend, who has such a fucked-up family and awful parents has eyes the size of saucers, attached to the duckling, running soft hands against the fur while your mom, your sweet, sweet mom, just hovers over the bed and pulls the younger woman close in a soft hug and whispers something in her ear.

When she lets go, Piper looks at you and starts crying.

Alex's mother looks so much like her that your heart is bursting with love. It's like looking at an Alex from the future and damn she'll be gorgeous. Not that she isn't now mind you. Your size is throbbing where the tube is, you can feel the needle in your hand and the mask is uncomfortable around your face.

You feel shy and on the spot when Diane approaches the bed, you're not sure how much Alex has shared with her and if the other woman resents you for lying to her daughter a while ago about something pretty important.

She hands you a cute stuffed duckling with soft, bright yellow fur and mentions something about Alex talking a lot to her about you. A blush makes itself visible above the edge of the mask but still you smile at her and hope it's a reassuring, nice to meet you too kind of smile and not a creepy one.

The bluest eyes you've ever seen lock themselves on you and suddenly she tilts towards you and hugs you, softly but so, so lovingly you feel a lump in your throat immediately. Maybe is the situation, maybe is the pain, maybe the drugs in your system. Maybe is just the fact that Diane has a mother's embrace that you're feeling all the way to your toes. So when she brushes her lips against your temple and murmurs a soft: "My daughter loves you so, so much, Piper Chapman and I'm proud of her for making such an amazing choice."; it's the end for your tight control on your emotions. The lump gets thicker and tears run down your face so when Diane pulls back, you look at Alex and you lose it.

Sobs leave your mouth and fog the mask. Crying is a poor exercise for your abuse left lung and soon your whole body is a mass of hurt. Your breathing becomes shallow and painful and you hear Alex telling you to calm down, pressing the button for the nurse. You try to stop crying, feeling so silly, but it's no use. It's almost cathartic the way your body just lets go and everything you've been bottling up inside rushes out of you with the sobs and the tears. Nurses and doctors rush in and you barely hear the words being spoken. Something is injected in your IV and suddenly you are out like a light.


	14. Jaguar Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! SILLY, DELICIOUS LESBIAN SEX ACTIVITIES IN THIS CHAPTER PEOPLE! IF IT BOTHERS YOU IN ANY WAY, STOP READING AS SOON AS YOU READ THE WORDS: "IN THE BATHROOM". I REPEAT SEXY LESBIANS HAPPENING IN THIS CHAPTER PEOPLE!
> 
> A/N: As usual I apologize for any mistakes regarding the medical stuff. I know crap about it and all you see here comes from Google and an overactive imagination. :) Cheers.

A/N:

Jaguar Milk

Type

Cocktail

Primary alcohol by volume

Cachaça

Served

Neat; undiluted and without ice

Standard garnish

cinnamon or chocolate (optional)

Standard drinkware

mug (preferably a non-transparent one)

Commonly used ingredients

1 part cachaça

1 part milk

1 part cocoa liqueur

1/2 part of condensed milk

Preparation

mix the condensed milk and the milk until they blend together. Add cachaça and let it rest. Add cocoa licor when it's ready to serve

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go

Will you, won't you, be the one I always know

When I'm losing my control, the city spins around

You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

You wake up to a frantic Alex and a worried and guilty looking Diane. Your whole body aches like a big bruise and half your face is covered by a bigger, tighter mask. You blink slowly and raise your hand sluggishly to take it off your face. Alex's hand on yours stop you.

"Leave the damn mask on, Chapman."

"What happened?" Your breathing is a little better but your voice sounds Darth-Vadery. Alex's face is pure tension. Eyebrows furrowed, crinkles around her pursed lips. Fuck.

"You just took 10 years off my life that's what. You cried yourself into a panic attack, had a respiratory failure, a seizure and was out for almost 2 hours. They were talking about intubating you again."

Her eyes are swimming and Diane steps forward, placing a hand on her shoulder and whispering something in her ear. Alex nods, drops a kiss on your forehead and leaves the room.

Diane stays with you, chatting about nothing important, her voice soothing and lulling. You are snoozing when the door opens and the doctor comes in, smiling when he sees you "awake" and talking. Alex arrives with him and comes back to your side, the tension in her face a little softer now.

"Hey, Piper. Nice to see you back with us. Are you trying to make my job harder, young lady?"

You laugh and cough, shaking your head. He runs some tests: eyes, memory, cognitive.

"Well, we are going to run some more tests but for now your O2 stats are good, you're responsive and the drain is doing its job. I'll repeat the scan tomorrow to see how your lungs are developing but I need to talk to you about possible complications, yes?"

You nod, all sleep gone now. Alex squeezes your hand for support.

"I don't think you're going to have problems recovering from this. Like I said, the drain is working, the antibiotics too, your O2 stats are good and you seem unaffected by the seizure. But, your breathing is not that spectacular and frankly, I'm worried about those panic attacks you have. Are they common?"

"Not for a couple of years... " You say and the doctor nods in understanding.

"Well, Piper, we'll see how those lungs of yours react. The left one is my main concern since the right one is draining with the meds alone. But, you'll probably have to do some exercises to strengthen the muscles and probably an inhaler for the rest of your life. You'll have to be careful with every single flu you have from now on, unfortunately."

"Wow… that sucks." The doctor laughs but you're kind of happy it's not something more serious. You can live with the need for an inhaler and physical therapy for your lungs.

"Can I take this machine off my face? It's really tight…"

The doctor checks some numbers on a display and then nods to the nurse.

"Cannula stays, ok?"

He gives you a smile, taps on his Ipad then leaves with a promise to be back before he has to go home.

From then on it seems your body finally decides to cooperate. The drain is removed the next day, you get a clean bill of health (sort of) and are released to go home two days later. Alex brings you back to her apartment and pampers and babies you so much you start to get just a tiny bit crazy. Especially because you're still on bed rest for some time.

Diane comes over for dinner and you are as in love with her as you are with her daughter. She is an incredible mother and you're still amazed at how she just took you under her wing barely knowing you. You feel weird receiving a mother's love because that was never something that happened in your life. After 2 weeks of Diane helping her daughter pamper you, though, you are one happy Piper.

Today was your last doctor's appointment. Clean bill of health (for real now) it is. Pneumonia gone, lungs strengthened, decent weight, you have your energy back, sleep normal hours instead of the whole day and the only remembrance you'll have of the experience is a few scars and the inhaler.

Alex went back to work two days ago. You're still kind of living with her, though. It's a pending discussion you'll have to tackle sometime in the future. Not today. Today you've been told you are healthy after a long time worrying and you just want to fuck your girlfriend silly. Your very patient, no sex for weeks, girlfriend.

It's back to work with you next week and until then you just want to spend some quality time together with Alex without this nurse-patient vibe you've got going on lately. You feel somewhat apprehensive… Your relationship with Alex is so new and you spent a lot of the time sick.

The sound of the key turning makes you smile. You track Alex's progress by the sounds she makes. Keys in the bowl next to the door, the muffled sound of her wallet next to the bowl. Stiletto heels toed off with a thump and then…

"Babe?"

"In the bathroom!"

You count to ten and is rewarded with your girlfriend's tired face and shining eyes. You're chin deep in fragrant bubbles, hair up in a high ponytail, the pink tips wet. Alex's eyes get hooded and dark and you smile at her, sipping a frothy Bikini Martini. Your personal celebration for the end of the antibiotics. She seems frozen in place so you put your drink aside and get up from the tub. Alex's eyes follow the path the bubbles make down your body.

Ever a boobs woman, her eyes linger on your tightening nipples for a while before traveling down your concave stomach, hips, to the recently waxed apex of your thighs. Her gaze is like a caress and you're already so aroused as if she's touching you.

Her neck moves as she swallows and in two strides she is inside the tub with you, clothes and all. Her mouth is on your neck, both hands on your breasts. She pinches and rubs the nipples and you moan loudly as your hands begin to undress her.

Your mouth is watering by the time you take off her shirt and bra so, as she tries to take off her pencil skirt you just attach your lips to her left nipple. One hand still pulling the skirt off her remaining leg, the other grabs the back of your head as you suckle, your left hand trails down her back, squeezing her bottom for a nanosecond before going to the front and skimming over her wet center.

Alex is now murmuring disconnected words as she usually does when she's very aroused. Her pussy is dripping on your fingers all the way to your wrist. Somehow you two managed to get her deliciously naked and wet and she's now panting in your ear as you curve your fingers inside her and pull on her nipple with your teeth, rubbing your wet heat on the thigh she has so chivalrously placed between yours.

Her orgasm is fast and powerful and when it happens she slams both hands on the title behind her. Her moan, so close to your neck, goes straight from your ears to your center and you feel yourself halfway there without her barely touching you.

Piper tastes like coconut rum and pineapple juice. Her body smells like the vanilla bubbles she likes so much and is soft, so soft… When she gets up from the bathtub your vision clouds and a red haze takes over you. All you wanna do is taste her, touch her, fuck her.

Your climax is fast as powerful but you need more. You need to crawl into her, to make her come again and again and again. You grab her by the thighs, hooking both legs around your waist as you leave the bathroom, luckily not breaking a damn leg in the process.

Her heat is scorching and wet against your belly and unsatisfied, she keeps rubbing herself against you, meowling softly. Your tongue swipes against her palate, warm and soft, over and under hers. Hands are probably bruising but she never complains. Her landing on the bed makes her bounce and she giggles a little but you cover her mouth again because the hunger in you is overwhelming and leaves no time for fun now.

You tongue the space between her breasts and her ribs while she moans and contorts. Her hands are on your hair and you don't have to look to know she has her head back and her perfect marble neck is stretched, her mouth open. Her thighs are spread wide open, your fingers digging into her skin. She'll be a huge bruise when you finish with her and you know you should probably hold yourself back but you can't.

After your fight, this is the first time you're touching her, tasting her for real without fear of causing her bodily harm, without a constant cloud of worry over your head. You're salivating with want and if you could you'd probably melt your bodies together.

The saliva in your mouth is useful, but not really necessary when you finally lick Piper's center from her perineum all the way to her clit. She gasps loudly and her legs jerk a little, closing around your head. She's probably over-stimulated but you don't care. Your hands rise to her knees and you force her legs apart on the bed, raising your head just enough to mutter a forceful "OPEN" before going back to her dripping center. She shouts your name and your pussy clenches when you remember how much Piper likes when you're forceful.

You take her to the edge and back several times. You have two fingers up her and your pinky pressing her ass and she's going crazy. Her head is trashing, a thin sheen of sweat covering her skin. She's moaning constantly now, calling your name on a chant and despite having orgasmed a while before you're throbbing again. Her taste is scorched in your tongue, in your nose. You flick her clit, moaning when she runs a foot up your lower back.

Piper opens her eyes when you stop and lay next to her. You grab her by the hair and kiss her mouth hungrily before looking into her hooded eyes and muttering, "Turn around and eat me."

She maneuvers herself on top of you, pussy in your face and face in your pussy. You spread your legs like a butterfly and moan in her center when she delves right in. Piper goes straight to her target, no foreplay. Your moans bring her to a long, hard orgasm and when you slap her bottom and push your finger in her she orgasms again. Her muffled scream, face still buried in you is enough to make you detach your mouth from her and scream her name, bucking your hips like you're on a rodeo, white spots clouding your vision.

You barely feel her turning herself around sluggishly and dropping half on you, half on the bed. Her wet center makes a path on your thigh as the two of you move to engage like a puzzle. Your eyes are closed and you're already dozing, but you feel her pull the duvet over your bodies. You feel her lips against your neck and tighten your arm around her, falling into a much needed and very satisfied sleep.


	15. Savoy Corpse Reviver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, folks. The End. Fim. Das Ende. La fin...   
> I'm so proud of this story and how it was such a cathartic experience for me. Alex and Piper work so well together and Laura and Taylor do such an amazing job that they just come to life whenever I try to put them on paper. Also, I'm kind of addicted to Katie McGrath and her sweet, sweet, sweet Irish self. So I put her here because, why not. Lena and Kara are awesome characters from Supergirl. Unfortunately, not canon but... who knows... All copyright goes to CW and Netflix and whoever owns those amazing characters. I own shit. Only frenchies, three kids and a short wife. ;)
> 
> Thank you all for your amazing, incredible, always warm feedbacks and kudos and just a general patience with me and this story. I hope you enjoy this last chapter and keep following my work. <3 Love you all to pieces. Tchau!

Chapter 15:

A/N:

Savoy Corpse Reviver

Type

Cocktail

Primary alcohol by volume

Brandy

Served

Straight up; without ice

Commonly used ingredients

1 part Brandy

1 part Fernet Branca

1 part White Crème de menthe

Preparation

Shake ingredients together with ice, and strain into a glass.

Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on

You got the healing that I want

Just like they say it in the song

Until the dawn, let's Marvin Gaye and get it on

Life is good.

Music is loud.

Drinks are perfect.

You're working and life is good.

After almost 5 months you're back behind the bar, so excited you're practically dancing. Alex is coming any time now with her cousin she wants you to meet and after the bar closes you're going to hang out like a normal, honest to God couple and you're so, so incredibly happy it actually hurts a little.

"Martini, please."

The woman in front of you puts her hand on your wrist as you pass the guy next to her two Bellinis and a Savoy Corpse Reviver, the murky white of the Savoy shining with the strobe lights. He managed to carry the two tall Bellini glasses in one hand and left sipping the Savoy. After making sure he wouldn't drop his drinks, you turn your attention to the woman whose hand is still on your arm.

Smiling, you pull your arm back discretely and clean the counter.

"What kind of Martini?"

She's a tall, slender blonde. The bluest eyes you've ever seen and blood red lips that curve seductively as she stares at you. You acknowledge her beauty but keep your smile polite as you run her code through the machine.

"Gibson."

You're already grabbing the bottles of Vodka and Vermouth as you quickly mix the drink and pour it into a wide, tall glass.

"Olive or cherry?"

The woman is still staring at you and when you place the glass in front of her with a napkin she puts her hand on your arm again.

"Cherry. And your number?"

You smile politely and open your mouth to answer but before you can Alex is right there next to her, her smile feral and possessive.

"Hi, baby…"

She bends over the counter and grabs you by the back of the head to smash your mouths together. Her tongue runs over yours, taking advantage of your little "o" of surprise. Noise drops and your eyes roll in pleasure as your hands take leverage on her forearms. Her smell is intoxicating. You barely hear the catcalls and it feels like it lasts forever but it ends too soon.

When she finally detaches your lips you open your eyes to the colors of the club's flashing lights. The Martini Girl is gone, her place taken over by a petite, blonde girl who's smiling at you, all teeth.

"First day back and already causing trouble, Chapman?" Alex raises an eyebrow at you.

"Can't help being irresistible."

Alex grins at you and puts her arm around the smiling girl.

"Babe, this is Kara and her girlfriend Lena is my cousin." A tall, brunette with a high ponytail appeared behind Alex, striking green eyes and a beautiful, slightly overbite smile.

"Hey!" You give a little wave.

"You are so pretty!" Kara exclaims. She's bubbly and sunny and happy. Lena has a striking resemblance with Alex on the way she moves and handles herself. A big, sexy, apparently very important cat. Her movements are deliberate and she seems to gravitate around Kara all the time. Seriously, cutest couple ever.

You lead Alex and Kara and Lena at the corner of the bar. You change sections with Poussey so you can waiter on them and chat occasionally when you have time. Alex hands you her arm to open her tab and as you scan her code you can help but remember the first time you did that. Like you did it in the past, you run your thumb over her skin. This time, you can raise her hand and drop a lingering kiss on her palm, relishing on the familiar smell.

"You okay, baby?"

"I'm perfect." You smile at her and with a squeeze of her hand finish opening her tab.

"What will you girls have today?"

Kara is staring at the menu like it holds the answers to all the questions in the universe. Lena has one hand on her neck, running nimble fingers up and down while she talks to Alex about some shipment.

"Do you have potstickers?"

She looks like a puppy.

"Sweetie, I don't think they have potstickers here. Do you want me to ask Daniel to get some for you?"

That's how you realize Lena spoils Kara silly. Must run in the family.

"Nah, that's fine. I think I'll have some fries, though."

You're puzzled. Normally people ask for drinks first… Your face must've been a giveaway because Lena smiles at you, flashing a dimple.

"Sorry, Piper. My girl is a bottomless pit. She doesn't play when we're talking about food."

Kara mocks pout. "I'm hungry…"

Lena rolls her eyes while Alex laughs, already familiarized with Kara's shenanigans. She tells you to just roll with beers and shots and keep them coming. You place a bucket of Stellas in front of them, their necks sticking out of the ice. Next, three glasses and two rows of shot glasses that you fill with the perfect, slightly beige, Ocho Tequila. You add a plate with salt and lemons and blows Alex a kiss before going towards the boy with dreadlocks who's raising his hand to call your attention.

Halfway through your shift Red comes to check on you as she has been doing for the past week since you came back. When she spots Alex she gives you the rest of the shift off to enjoy with the girls despite your reluctance. Dimitri takes your place behind the bar while Red goes to the kitchen to keep supplying Kara with an enormous amount of food.

"Sorry I couldn't give you a lot of attention guys… What are we talking about?"

The shots are gone so you grab another round of Stellas and the bottle of Ocho. Kara is flushed, eyes bright as she sips on her beer. Seems she has kept herself from the tequila, leaving the heavy stuff for the cousins.

Alex drapes her arm over the back of your chair and pulls you a little close, kissing your temple.

"Hey, baby. Lena was telling me about a merge with a Brazilian company; one of the lawyers was calling her a hot piece of ass in Portuguese and didn't know she actually speaks the language pretty well.

"Você fala Português?"

Lena raises a trademark (must be a family thing also) and flashes a dimple with an open smile.

"Falo. Não tão bem como você, aparentemente."

The vowels in Lena's voice are a little more rounded, open, while in Kara sound closer to the Portuguese accent, the r a little more well pronounced. After all, no imperfections were permitted in the Chapman's household.

"Seu português é ótimo!"

So, in a quick, fast pace she told Lena how and why she had learned Portuguese which made the other woman cringe and nod knowingly while sipping her beer.

"Sei exatamente como é ter pais merda. Luckily for me Diane "adopted" me right after mom and dad kicked me out for being gay. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Always said her sister was, and I quote, a pushover bitch with sociopath tendencies."

Alex quickly catches on the subject once Lena goes back to English and places a hand on the woman's thigh, patting to offer comfort.

"I'm sorry for that." You say because you can relate.

"Well, we can't always have the families we wish for. I was lucky I had Alex and Diane." Lena says, raising a shot in Lena's direction and downing it. The subject had long stopped bothering her.

"My sister Alex is also gay. She and Maggie have been married for 2 years now." Kara gives her input, much to the other women's confusion at the abrupt change in conversation venue. "When I also came out and introduced Lena to my mom she used to joke around with her friends that apparently she could not raise straight children. I pointed out that I was at least half-straight - I'm bi - and she was like: Kara, sweetie... that's because you're adopted."

You snort a laugh, feeling Alex shake in laughter while Lena, who apparently has heard that joke many times smiles goofily at her girlfriend before dropping a kiss on her mouth. Kara, on an apparently obnoxious and aloof move, has managed to turn a painful subject into a light moment with a single comment. Kudos.

The night progresses slowly as the four of you get more and more buzzed. As soon as you start to not feel your legs properly you cut down on the shots and lay heavy on the water. Kara is now three sheets to the wind. She's the happy drunk. Alex is a touchy drunk. She's now all PDA: hands on your thighs and shoulders, kisses on your neck, jaw, mouth. Lena is… Lena is a horny drunk. As soon as the Harlequin green in her eyes paled to a Moss green, she pulled Kara onto her lap - where she still is - and is pretty much groping whatever part of her girlfriend she can. Kara just giggles away.

It seems normal and completely incredible to you, to have these people in our life, to be happy, to be free. You have nothing weighing you down, you feel 100% in tune with your emotions, with who you are.

The bar is almost closing, so you close Alex's tab and pay for it; she keeps shoving her Starbucks membership card at you. "I'll pay kid, let me pay." Lena has her lips attached to Kara's, who is now sitting cowboy style on her girlfriend's lap, hands on her bottom. You ask Nicky to hail you a cab but Dimitri offers to take you home. You're taking everyone to Alex's apartment since you're still living there. That's one pending subject you have to talk about.

Kara and Lena are making out heavily in the back seat as Alex cracks jokes to you. You travel next to Dimitri, apologizing profusely all the way. Taking three drunk women up to a penthouse would be incredibly tricky if it wasn't for Dimitri. You really owe him a drink. Hell, a round of drinks. He dumps the three giggling women on the couch and leaves. You're still pretty buzzed so it's a hard job and you see more boobs and butts than you were hoping for when they're finally all settled down for the rest of the night.

Lena and Kara are comfortably settled in the guest room, Advil and water on their bedside table for when they wake up. Alex is naked, sprawled starfish position in the middle of the bed, her gorgeous tush up in the air. You showered the smoke and booze from the bar off your body and are now ready to join your girlfriend in slumber. Unfortunately, there seems to be no space left for you on the bed.

You poke Alex on the ribs and usually, it's enough to get her to move but this time she grabs you by the hand and pulls you to the bed, rolling herself on top of you on a very ninja move. Her kisses are sluggish but she hits the exact spot on your jaw that immediately gets your legs to open. Her hand is already there, rubbing against your clit. You realize Alex is in a mood and fast and furious is the way it's going to be. She's moving her center against your inner thigh and apparently needs no help whatsoever because it's already slick and warm.

"Baby… I'm so wet…" Her speech is slurred and aroused. You grab her bottom and push and pull her against your thigh, panting against her mouth, as you stumble towards a powerful orgasm. Alex vocalizes her finish with a long, struggled moan. She pants softly as she raises her head from your neck to kiss you as you both turn on your sides and stare at one another. Alex's eyes are kind of hazy but she looks serious out of the sudden.

"Pipes… I need to ask you something."

She looks so serious…

"Sure, baby… Are you ok?"

"Move in with me?"

Her eyes are huge and open.

"Alex, you're drunk sweetie… Let's talk about this in the morning…" Your voice is barely a whisper but she grabs your hand and places it on her cheeks, forehead touching yours.

"I don't want to wait anymore. I want you here with me. All the time. I want your smell on my sheets and your crap all over the place. I want to fight and have to sleep in the same bed even if we're angry. I want to have to buy those damn gummy bears you like so much because they are apparently the only thing you eat when you're on your period. I want to share PMS with you and everything else. Please say yes…

Your eyes are swimming and you're not sure she'll remember it next morning but you can't help it. You kiss her slowly and lovingly and make sure her green eyes are locked into yours before replying: Yes!

Alex pecks your mouth several times before finally cuddling close to you, her head against your neck. Her breathing evens out a couple minutes later as she drops to sleep like a rock in a lake.

Your body is still singing with the aftershocks. The room is dark and silent as the street slumbers for a couple of hours more before the sun rises. Alex has a possessive arm thrown over your stomach and you are lulled by her breathing and the fan above you.

You are happy. And the future is an open road ahead of you, filled with Alex Vause.

Life is good.

Life is good.

THE END


End file.
